Page 49 of Captured By the Cold Duke
“I’m sure you are right,” Minerva said, inclining her head. “Just make sure, Cherie. Because I cannot bear to think of you getting even more hurt by this man who has always caused you so much pain.”
Cherie couldn’t argue with that. And at her friend’s words, a tiny seed of doubt felt as if it had been planted in her chest. She had to make sure now before Thomas hurt her all over again.
“Is the duke home?” Cherie asked the butler the moment she arrived back home.
“Yes, Your Grace. He is in the library.”
Cherie removed her gloves, handed her cloak to the butler, and then made her way slowly across the hall to the library. She’d never known her husband to be in there before, and for a moment, she allowed herself to fantasize what it would feel like to be kissed in the library, amongst all the books. It made her heart stir, and her pace quickened.
When she arrived at the library, she knocked lightly, and Thomas’s voice sounded from inside: “Enter.”
She pushed open the door and squinted into the gloom of the library. At first, she couldn’t make out much, but as she moved into the room and closed the door behind her, her eyes began to adjust.
“Thomas?” she murmured. “Where are you?”
“I’m here.” He appeared out of the darkness holding a book. At once, she could tell that something was wrong. There was a cold, reserved look on his face, and there was no warmth or laughter in his eyes. She felt her throat go dry, and she was sure it had nothing to do with all the dust in the library.
“What are you doing in here?” she asked. “I never see you in the library.”
“I was looking for some old diaries from when my mother was young,” he said, shrugging. “I was missing her and wondered if it might be possible to find some of the thoughts that she put down when she was around my age.”
“That’s very beautiful,” she murmured. “You don’t talk much about your mother. Were you close to her?”
“Very close,” he said. “But she died when I was still a boy, only thirteen. My father always said I was more like her than like him, and although I knew he meant that as an insult, I always took it as a compliment. After all, she was my favorite person in the world.”
“I think it’s nice you’re like her,” Cherie said, smiling slightly. “Better her than him.”
“Yes.” Thomas gave a short, mirthless bark of laughter. “I suppose that’s true.”
She considered him for a long moment. “What’s going on, Thomas?” she asked at last. “You seem much changed since yesterday.”
After their kiss the previous day, they’d enjoyed a simple meal together and had talked as old friends might. There had been laughter, even flirting. And while they hadn’t discussed exactly what they wanted to happen in their marriage, and had slept separately, Cherie had gone to bed hopeful.
“I’m sorry if I seem different,” Thomas said, his voice wooden. “I finally got a chance to think things over. Yesterday I acted on instinct. I was rash and hot-blooded. But that is not the way to make decisions, especially important ones.”
“I suppose not,” she said cautiously, “but I appreciated you acting on instinct, instead of holding yourself back. What happened between us yesterday was, in my opinion, beautiful. I have not been able to stop thinking about it.”
Thomas stared at her; his expression inscrutable.
When he said nothing, she moved towards him, unable to disguise the hopeful, eager look on her face.
“I am excited to finally live as husband and wife,” she said, “and I know, after that kiss we shared yesterday, that is what you want as well.”
“Cherie, wait?—”
“Please, let me speak. I vowed to my mother that I would have a love match, Thomas, you know this. And after yesterday, I feel the happiest I have in a long time because I feel that I am finally on my way to making my mother’s dream come true.”
“Cherie—”
“But my mother is gone,” she continued doggedly. “This is about me and you. I’m not saying that ours is now a love match. I know there is still so much we have to learn. Trust needs to be rebuilt on both sides. But I know what I felt in that kiss, and I heard what you said to me about your feelings, and I am now sure that we could be truly happy, Thomas. And I want to try.”
She reached out and took his hand. It was cold, but she still held it firmly. “I want to live as man and wife. And I want to have children with you. I know that you would be a great father.”
Thomas backed away from her, shaking his head.
“It was a mistake,” he said, his voice as harsh and cold as a winter storm.
Cherie felt as if the rug had been pulled out from under her feet. She felt dizzy and confused, and she had to reach out and touch a nearby bookcase to keep from stumbling.
