Page 53 of Queen of Ashes and Scars
She observes me closely, her lips tucked between her teeth. “Leo…Did Sebastian ask to bite you? Because I’d never demand to share you with him. Never.”
“I know you wouldn’t.” I kiss her hard, desperate for an additional moment of intimacy between us before I tell her what’s been on my mind since we returned.
She runs her tongue over my jugular.
“I’m sorry, Ari. I’ve been blaming you for a decision I made, for a system you had no true part of, and denied you some common decency. I held myself away from you, and that’s entirely my fault.”
“You don’t have to—I...” she bites her bottom lip, so perfect under the silvery sky that my heart aches with her beauty. “Thank you, Leo. That means a lot.”
I cup her face, pulling her closer, her tantalizing lips beckoning me closer. “I love you, Arielle Beatrice Delacroix.”
“I love you too, Leo Callas.”
We kiss in the secluded gardens, and I know everything will be alright.
“I should go and speak with Sebastian now. I’ll see you inside, yes?”
I lick my lips. Here goes…
“Before you go, there’s something I’ve been meaning to talk to you about.” A small chuckle escapes me as I link our fingers, trying to soften my words. “God, I sound so serious…” I meet her gaze again. “I love you, Arielle. And I hate that Adele used me against you. She knew I was the weakest link, the easy mark. If Keenan hadn’t been there…I’d be dead, or she would have used me to escape. If I stay here with you, and love you the way I want to, others will try to take advantage of that. It’ll make me a target.” I scratch the back of my neck, what I have to do becoming clearer with each sentence. “If I dare to hope for a life alongside you, things have to change.”
The clouds obscure the moon, her eyes now draped in shadows. “What do you mean?”
“Youmight learn to see me as more than a human, more than a meal on two legs, but you’ll always be a vampire. But your court won’t see me as more than a human. Your enemies will be able to kill me with one finger. I’ll age… But that’s not all of it. Those are all good, rational excuses.” My gaze glued to the sky, the throng of questions and doubts comes to a halt in my overactive brain. The events of the last few weeks still for a moment, enough for me to see through the storm clearly. “As long as I’m mortal, we won’t be on equal footing. And I’m not talking about wealth or power…ThatI could get used to. But we’re different species, Arielle. You’re smart, strong, and almost immortal. You intend to use your powers for good—like Keenan and that witch who saved you. It makes me think I can do the same. I want to be…more.”
She licks her lips slowly, her brows bent in question. “You want to become a vampire?”
My nose wrinkles, and I grab her hands in mine, hoping I can convey just how important her blessing is to me. “No. I’m sorry if that wasn’t clear. Keenan is offering to make me like him. I want to say yes.”
“After it’s done, you and I will be equals—-maybe not in status, since you’ll be Queen, but in spirit. In knowledge. There’s so much I don’t know, Arielle, and if you teach me, if I don’t get a chance to discover how I fit in this world by myself, I fear I’ll never feel like I truly belong, outside of you.”
She holds me closer, taking refuge in my arms. “I understand.”
And I’m so fucking relieved to hear it, I could cry.
Maybe it’s enough to be a human in this world, but to be the man she needs, the man she deserves, I need to be on her level. And I love her even more for supporting my decision.
* * *
Keenan doesn’t seemsurprised to see me when I join him in his room. The angel has announced his intention to leave tomorrow, and the slight smirk at the corner of his mouth tells me he knew I wouldn’t let him leave without saying goodbye. His bag is packed at the foot of the bed, ready to go.
“I still have questions,” I announce, not beating around the bush.
“How did you know it would work, with Adele I mean? If you’re this powerful, why didn’t you just use your powers on Jasper and his minions back in the hangar? Why fight at all if you can avoid it?”
He smiles like I’m still not asking the right questions. “The more broken someone is, the more they crave peace. And besides…I can’t seduce an entire army.”
“Broken… is that what I am?” I told Arielle I was ready to hear Keenan out, but inside, I’m both excited and terrified. What if I’m jumping too fast into this?
Keenan seems to be following my train of thought, and he sobers up immediately, the teasing edge of his voice gone. “Remember how you felt when we first met? How a part of you craved death?” He pauses for a second before adding, “Adele had sunk a thousand leagues deeper than you ever did.”
I can’t imagine her pain, and while she certainly deserved her ending, I’m glad her father was held responsible for his part, too.
“I changed my mind. I want to know more about angels.” I wince at how dishonest I sounded… fuck it. “I want to become like you. I love her, but I can’t be a meal on two legs.”
“She might resent you for it.” He considers me with an impassive face, his reaction—-or lack thereof—quickening my pulse.
“I don’t care. I need to be more for her, or I won’t be able to protect her. How do we do it?”
