Page 32 of Queen of Ashes and Scars
He spreads both arms on either side of him, blocking my path. “I just heard the news.” The pained look on his face squeezes my belly. “Congratulations.” The hollowness of his voice hurts me more than if he’d screamed.
“Shit…I meant to speak with you privately.” I walk underneath his outstretched arm and open the door, gesturing for him to follow me, but he stays with his feet resolutely planted in the corridor. “Come in.”
He snickers, shaking his head like I’m a traitoranda fool. “I just spoke with Jude on the phone, Your Highness. Him and Bella will be joining us in France.”
Leaving the door ajar, I step forward. “Alec… talk to me.”
“You left without an escort,” Alec clips, his spine stiff. “You sneaked out without telling me.”
“I was with Leo.”
“I know. I found you soon enough, waited in the shade, and walked ten paces behind you as you came back,” he enunciates like I’m an irresponsible child.
Did he really spend the entire afternoon under Leo’s window, listening to us?
“You could have told me you were there,” I say defensively, a bit cross that he didn’t make his presence known. By Nyx… he spied on us having sex.
“It’s my job to know where you are.Allthe time. Why would you sneak out like that? Why wouldn’t you take me with you? I’m a grown man, Lucky, I know what the pleasure bite means to us, and I would never ask you to go without—” He chuckles under his breath, but the sound is everything but joyful. “I never expected us to be exclusive. Marrying Sebastian on the other hand…”
My jaw clenches, his obvious disappointment bordering on judgment. “Marrying Sebastian will rally the government.”
“You don’t have to marry anyone. You’re queen in your own right, and my brother doesn’t have a leg to stand on if we make it to court. Let themseeyou.”
“I need you with me on this. Why give my enemies the chance to beat me if I can play a better hand and win it all in one sweep?”
“But you’ll win on their terms, not yours.”
“I know you’re thinking about the consequences, too. We’re on the brink of war, Alec. If I do this, it’ll spare many lives, and what does it cost me, really?” He lets me approach him, and I gently guide him inside the bedroom, closing the door behind us. “Why can’t I be both queen and marry someone I—”
Fire flashes in his eyes. “Someone you what?”
“Someone that’ll make my claim to the throne undeniable,” I say quickly.
“That’s not what you were about to say.” Dark circles are visible under his eyes, and he holds my gaze with a defeated sigh.
I slip closer. “I’m sick of death, Alec. If we seize power without weakening the kingdom, it’ll be better for everyone.” I stand on my tiptoes to kiss him, but he steps backward almost violently.
“You’re not the first ruler who strives for peace. Who wants to play nice and avoid casualties and collateral damage. Nice doesn’t last, Lucky. People are too nasty for that.” His tone chills to the point of being icy. “And I’m not going to be your side-piece.”
I raise a brow. “Kings have had mistresses for centuries, and they were treated well.”
“It’s different.”
“Because you’re a man?”
His tired eyes dart to the ground for a split second. “Well…Yeah.”
“You told me point-blank that you did not want to become king. You just said you were fine with Leo…” I stare into his eyes, trying to discern if this is all about ego, or something else. “Are you saying that you don’t want to be with me at all?”
“No! I—Leo is human. And I actually like the guy. Sebastian’s not—” He rakes through his brown waves as though he expects to find the right word at the surface of his scalp. “Sebastian is too—”
“Sebastian,” we both say at the same time.
I nudge his side, half playful, half scorn, and hold on to his jacket. “I should have told you first about the wedding. I screwed up. I’m sorry.”
He looks down at me, long and hard, before saying, “Why didn’t you?”
“I don’t want this to end, Alec.” I stretch up to graze his lips with my own, but he denies me.
