Page 21 of Alpha Wolf's Arranged Bride
“Scarlett,” he answers, “elders or family could drop in at any time, and we have to maintain appearances for the exact same reasons as we did over at Eccles. I know it’s not ideal, but we should get used to it as quickly as we can.”
My heart sinks, and I rush to the bathroom to get changed so Rex doesn’t see me cry.
I don’t know how this can possibly get worse—but I’m sure it can!
It doesn’t matter how much it hurts me, though. I have to do this for Jarrod.
Chapter 6 - Rex
From the soft sounds I can hear in the bathroom, I can tell that Scarlett is crying, and it breaks my heart.
There’s nothing I can do to help her. I’m the jerk here. I lied, I left her, and I should be the one suffering.
It’s true that I regretted my actions every day since I left her, but I also managed to convince myself that she was better off without me. Now I understand how ridiculous that reasoning is; I was only telling myself what I wanted to hear.
Maybe I should tell her everything.
I glance over at the bathroom door, thinking about Scarlett and what she must be going through, and how I’m the cause of it all. I want to explain myself, but I also don’t want to cause her more pain.
Do I want to tell her so I can make her feel better, or do I just care about unburdening myself?
I lay back in bed, still listening to Scarlett in the bathroom. It sounds like she’s stopped crying, which is a relief, but it doesn’t encourage me to start enlightening her.
I’ve never told anyone about my involvement with Wolf’s Shadow. We work under a strict secrecy act, and I could be putting her in danger if I tell her. Besides, where would I even start?
It’s a good question, and I don’t have an answer for it. If I tell Scarlett I was only in Eccles because of my job and was there to gather intel, she might think my interest in her was only for my mission.
I did get a lot of intel from her. Nothing that answered the questions in our files, but pack history, power dynamics—all of that I got from her.
A sigh eases out of my chest as I realize I’m going to have to just carry this secret, even though it’s going to get heavier every day. I can bear it, though. I have to if it will help Scarlett deal with my betrayal.
What does she think of me right now? That I’m an insensitive jerk who slept with her and skipped town. As harsh as that is, it’s better than finding out you were manipulated by a secret agent.
The bathroom door squeaks, and I lay down quickly, pulling the covers over myself. I’ve definitely lost my nerve now, and I want to avoid a conversation with her just in case I blurt out everything.
I can’t compromise the mission, either. If I tell her and she shares it with anyone in Eccles, it would put other Shadows in danger. I can’t expose the whole operation.
Listening to Scarlett’s breathing, I hear her slowly relax and doze off. She murmurs in her sleep and stretches out, her hand almost touching my back.
I’ve missed you so much, my honey.
Memories rush through my mind—Scarlett’s happy smile and the rich cascade of her laughter. She was always so bright and extroverted, adventurous, and looking for fun.
And I loved it. She turned every occasion into a party, and she taught me how to let go and really enjoy myself.
She’d only been out of high school a year or so when I met her. By that time, she had moved out of her uncle’s house to the small cottage her late parents had left her. Every day seemed tobe a celebration of her freedom and expectation of a wonderful future. I remember that feeling from my own youth, and it was as if she gave it back to me.
Thinking about the age gap between us only makes me feel like even more of a jerk, so I turn my back on Scarlett and scoot over a bit so there is no chance of touching her, even accidentally. As I turn my mind away from my own secrets, I focus on hers.
Scarlett has a child… and who is the father? What happened to her after I left? She has every right to be mad at me for what I did, but I feel like there is so much more to this story.
Whenever I’m close to the boy, I feel a growing warmth in my chest, a powerful sense of connection that gets stronger when I look into his eyes. It’s as if there is a great truth hidden there, something I’m desperate to know, but afraid to accept.
I consider it a great blessing to the situation that Jarrod and I are getting along so well. He’s a good kid, and I feel honored to raise him—but I still have to wonder who his father is, and if I have to worry about this guy.
The idea of someone else being with Scarlett also fills me with frustration. My mind dances with images of her laughing with another man, him touching her, her kissing him. I wrestle with this pain, knowing I have absolutely no right to it.
I left her. I disappeared like a rat in the night. She can do whatever the hell she wants. I have no claim on her.
