Page 18 of Alpha Wolf's Arranged Bride
I focus hard on my heartbreak, the way I felt when I realized he was actually gone. Then the weeks after that, when all of us searched for him, finally coming to the conclusion that he must have left without a trace, and was now an outcast for it.
The elders decided that if there had been foul play or an accident, there would be evidence of it, and they were right. The only explanation for someone disappearing completely was that it was deliberate.
Methodical. Purposeful. And he fucked me before he left, knowing that he was going to leave!
The heat flooding my bones now is of an entirely different nature, and I clench my fists against the sheets so I don’t get up and slap him. There is nothing he can say to make this right. Nothing can erase those horrible weeks of pain and loneliness.
And then finding out I was pregnant… realizing I was truly and utterly abandoned. Completely alone.
My fury slowly turns into pain. The grief and loss I felt five years ago is still as deep now as it was then, and I’m still mourning the loss of James.
And James and Rex are obviously not the same person, so feeling grief for the man I knew is perfectly valid. He’s not coming back.
Even though emotion threatens to engulf me again, I take a deep breath and hold it, slowly letting it out before I take another long breath. Even though my muscles are still tight, I can feel myself relaxing a little.
Even if I can’t sleep, I need to rest so I can be ready to take care of Jarrod tomorrow. The last twenty-four hours have been an incredible ordeal for both of us.
After a while, my thoughts begin to settle. My emotions are still churning in my chest, but exhaustion blurs them, dulls the edge of my anger, and I finally slip into a doze.
When light comes into the sky, my eyes are immediately open to greet it, and I slip out of bed to get dressed.
All I have is my wedding dress, so after I freshen up, I put it on, looking at myself in the mirror. It’s a simple cotton gown, pure white with wide shoulder straps, a square neckline,and long, flowing skirts. It could use some embroidery across the bodice, but otherwise, I couldn’t have chosen better.
I do a little twirl, liking how the skirts swish. Looking up into the mirror, I see my own smile, and it hits me in the chest like a blade.
To think I once dreamed of marrying James! I fantasized about this exact moment… now fucking look at me.
Be careful what you wish for—the universe may give it to you!
Wiping angry tears out of my eyes, I hurry out to the main room, where there’s a small kitchenette to put on coffee. Jarrod gets up soon after and staggers into the kitchen, rubbing his eyes.
“Good morning, Mom. What’s for breakfast?”
“Good morning, kiddo. There’s cereal and bread for toast, not much else.”
“Okay, I’ll have some toast.”
“Did you sleep well?”
Jarrod nods as he goes past me to get the bread. “I was pretty tired. What happens now?”
“After breakfast, we go to Rose Hollow. Our new home.”
“Hey, Mom,” Jarrod says, turning to me after setting up the toaster. “I know this is all weird and scary, but it could be good. They are so mean to us here, and maybe we can make new friends in our new home.”
Warmth glows in my chest as a huge smile spreads across my face, and I give Jarrod a big hug.
“How did you get so wise?”
“I have a great mom,” he says, making me hug him tighter.
“Good morning,” Rex says, coming into the kitchen. “How did you sleep?”
“Fine,” I mutter, turning away from Jarrod so I can get my coffee and leave, giving a clear indication to Rex that I am not making his breakfast.
“Good,” Jarrod says, turning to Rex. “The bed was nice.”
“You’ll love it at my place,” Rex says, joining him in the kitchen. “You’ve got your own room. I’ve only set it up with a few basics, so you can decorate it as you like.”
