Page 97 of October
"I guess so," I murmured, voice catching just slightly. "I never really... saw anyone else."
It was true, even now, after the bruises love had left on us, after tears and silence and cold nights. In every room, I'd always still looked for Thomas first. Then the young waiter came by again, curls falling into his eyes, smile hovering between polite and maybe-something-more.
"Another drink?" he asked, gaze flicking to me. "Or maybe something sweeter?"
August elbowed me under the table so hard I nearly dropped my glass. Beth raised both brows, barely hiding a smirk. I felt heat rush to my face, stumbling over my words. "Oh, um... thank you, but I'm okay," I managed, voice embarrassingly small.
August leaned in, voice a conspiratorial whisper. "Looking is not illegal, October."
Beth added, softer, "And besides, you didn't evenseehim, did you?"
I laughed, helpless. "No," I admitted. "Not really."
Outside, the sky had deepened into navy, the air warm even after sunset. For the first time in so long, I felt like I'd stepped outside the tight coil of worry wrapped around my chest. I excused myself from the table, the warmth of laughter and clinking glasses fading behind me as I made my way toward the restroom. The soft hum of conversation and music filled the air, but all I could focus on was the knot tightening in my stomach.
Just as I reached the hallway, the warm glow of the restaurant dimmed into shadows.
A voice stopped me cold.
"October."
I turned sharply, my heart skipping a beat. "I thought I'd find you," she said softly, as if she'd been waiting.
I took a step back, my breath catching, "Laura? What are you doing here?"
Chapter Thirty-Two: Fractures and Vows
She took a step closer, eyes big and glistening, mouth tugged into an imitation of concern. "Look, I know you hate me. But this isn't about us. I just... I need you to talk to Thomas. Just tell him to reconsider. A statement, a character reference, anything. It could really help me."
I looked at her, forcing my voice to stay even. "Are you out of your freaking mind!?"
She ignored that, voice dripping with false humility. "Please, October. You know him better than anyone. He'll listen to you if it comes from you."
"Absolutely not," I said, "It's disgusting you'd even ask me. Leave me alone."
Something flickered across her face then like glass cracking. The sweetness fell away, and what was left was sharp, brittle, venomous.
"You think you're so much better than me," she sneered, stepping closer, her perfume cloying, too sweet. "Don't you dare pretend he never wanted me. I had him. I had your precious Tommy in my hand, and he liked it. You were just convenience, a habit. You really think he loved you? He stayed because it was easier, that's all. You are pathetic."
Her words sliced clean through the air, sharp, hot, humiliating. They lodged somewhere in my throat, heavy with bile. I wanted to cry, to scream, to vanish. Instead, I stood frozen, letting the shame crawl over my skin like something alive. I turned to leave and call the girls, but this is MY battle. Yes, it would've been easier to walk away. To let her feel like she won but then I heard Dr. Mireille's voice in my head again, calm and unwavering:Silence doesn't erase pain; it preserves it.
"No," I breathed aloud, turning slowly, deliberately, until I was facing her fully, "You know what's pathetic, Laura?" I said, my voice low, cold enough to frost the air between us. She tilted her chin, trying to hold on to that practiced smirk, the one she wore like armor but I saw the flicker in her eyes. A tremor, quick as a blink.
"That you think having scraps of a man makes you powerful," I went on, my words slow and deliberate, each one landing like a stone dropped into deep water. "You think being the woman in the shadows makes you chosen. It doesn't. It just makes you disposable. You weren't loved, you weren't chosen. You were just... easy."
Her smirk faltered completely now, "You have no morals, no loyalty, no self-respect," I said. "It wasn't enough to betray a marriage, you had to do it twice. Father and son. You call that power?" I shook my head, letting the disgust bleed through. "It's not power, Laura. It's emptiness. Being so hollow inside that you'll do anything to fill it. You don't know how to be alone, so you crawl into the cracks of other people's lives and then you act like it makes you special."
She opened her mouth again, breath catching, but I didn't let her speak.
"You dress it up in lipstick, a tight dress, and a practiced laugh. You call it confidence," I said, my voice dropping, turning almost pitying. "But it's just desperation, Laura and no matter how many times you pretend otherwise... deep down, you know it too. You're just a horrible decision. The worst chapter in his life, yes, but that chapter is closing."
Her jaw tightened, but I didn't stop, "He's been working to come home to me. To earn his place again and it's working, Laura. Slowly. Carefully. I'm learning how to let him back into my heart," I said, feeling the burn of it in my chest. "But you? You're doomed to your own long, lonely, pathetic story. I won't let you crawl back into my life. I won't let you keep trying to burn down what's left of it, either. You're just a footnote in my story, Laura. A blur, so don't youeverthink you can use me to get to him again. Don't speak my name like it gives you leverage. You're not worth the breath."
I turned. I didn't need to see her face anymore. Whatever satisfaction she used to pull from mine, she wouldn't find it now. I walked out, heart pounding, fingers trembling from the aftermath but my spine was straight. My steps were solid. I went back to where Beth and August were still sitting. The noise of the place felt suddenly too loud, too chaotic. The laughter, the clinking glasses, the music pulsing through the speakers, it all pressed in on me, like the room was shrinking.
"I'm leaving," I blurted out, my voice higher and shakier than I meant it to be.
They both turned sharply, alarm flashing in their eyes. "October?" August said, already half-rising from her seat. "What happened?"
