Page 18 of Snowed In With the Snow Queen
“Is your only priority… yeah, I know. Well, I learned that yesterday. Before yesterday, I didn’t know that you were the Beta. I just assumed you were the Alpha who just liked the attention.”
“I’m sorry, I never meant to make you feel–”
“All your relationships have been with demanding women who made the first move, haven’t they, Randy?” she interrupts.
It feels like a trap, but she has a smile on her face. Do I answer truthfully? What’s the right answer?
“I–”
She shakes her head and laughs. “You don’t have to answer that, but I do have a personal question I need to ask before I can say yes.”
She’s going to say yes? “Sure. I’ll tell you anything you want to know.”
“I know it’s cold, but would you be willing to not be in your wolf form when we’re together?”
Her question has me totally confused. “You need me to shift right now? Sure, I have some clothes I can change into.” I move to stand, but she stops me with a hand on my leg.
“Randy, you asked me earlier about what I was doing today. The truth is, I don’t like Christmas. It’s not a hardship to treat it like just another day.”
How did we jump from me shifting to Christmas? I decide to keep my mouth shut and just roll with it.
“My family was very poor growing up,” she says, scooting closer to me. “So Christmas was always a time for my parents to fight over money. And when I grew up and got married to a gorgeous man with tons of money, I thought all my problems were solved.”
She bites her lip and pauses, as if she’s thinking about what to say next. “My ex-husband was the Alpha of a very large and wealthy pack. Everything had to be perfect, and he had the worst temper if even the slightest thing was off. We would be getting ready for an event or a party and if even one thing went wrong… let’s just say he was good about hitting me in places I could hide easily. Christmas was the worst. His father insisted that the entire pack spend it together. It was two weeks every year where I didn’t get a break from perfection.”
She stops and meets my gaze. “I’m sorry, that’s way too dark for Christmas Eve.”
I shake my head. “No, tell me the rest.”
She looks away and then looks back. “I’m sorry. This is going to be a lot.”
I put a hand on the one still on my leg and squeeze. She meets my eyes and gives me a half smile. Finally, she says, “The more stressed he got, the more violent he’d get in the bedroom, and Christmas with his family was two straight weeks of nonstop stress. Knots were only for his pleasure, not mine. If it hurt me, well then it was just my duty as his Luna to take it.”
I want to pull her in my arms and tell her she’s safe with me, but something tells me that’s not what she wants.
“I spent a long time in therapy and worked really hard to have intimate relationships with men again, but haven’t been with another wolf since him, and I don’t think I can…”
It finally dawns on me what she means by “together”. “Then no knots ever, if it makes you feel safer.”
“Not never,” she says, her eyes flicking across my face, “just until I’m ready.”
I nod. “Anything you need, Soojin. It’s yours.”
She tilts her head again and blinks. “I don’t need things, Randy… I just need you. I need your attention. I know the pack was here first, but I need to be a priority, too, if this is going to work.”
I take the hand I’m holding and I press my lips to her knuckles. With her hand still in mine, I break the distance between us. “Give me a chance to be the man I should have been for you this past year. I promise I won’t fail you.”
I can almost feel the doubt and uncertainty radiate off of her. She nods and I pull her close, wrapping my arms around her.
A long silence hangs between us as my brain races through a million different scenarios. What the hell am I supposed to do now? Ask her out again? Wait until the storm clears and then call on her at the restaurant? She pulls back and turns to look atme from her blanket, a look of expectation on her face. “Well?” she says.
I have no idea what to say. “Well?”
She sighs. “I’m one hundred percent right about your exes,” she says, pushing the blanket away from her face and leaning toward me. “I’m going to kiss you now, Randy.”
And she does.
Chapter Thirteen
