Page 4 of Actions and Reactions
It’s not like I’m unable to think things through. I can very easily see where things went wrong, looking back. I know what I should’ve done, should’ve said, should’ve kept quiet.
But knowing all those things doesn’t change the fact that it’s been seven years since I had a single conversation with the other half of me.
Who knows whether Silas even is my other half anymore. It could be that he’s changed beyond our friendship... I wouldn’t know.
And friendship isn’t the correct word to use for what we had. I don’t think the word exists really, but if I were at gunpoint and someone demanded to know what we were to each other, I would go with soulmates.
At least, that’s what it felt like to me, and the dark hole in my chest that becomes impossible to ignore whenever I think about him tells me I still feel that way about him today
I haven’t only been avoiding him at every family event since we were fifteen. I’ve also made sure to never be alone in a room with him since he moved to Vegas to work for the Pirates three months ago.
But with July comes the off-season.
And though I still feel the immense sense of triumph that comes with winning the Stanley Cup, fact is, I’ve always spent my off-season with my family, and this year, Mom and Aunt Elle have decided enough is enough.
Why did it have to be this year? I don’t know, but I suspect it has something to do with us working for the same organization now.
It’s the only thing I can think of that could push them to intervene after so many years of staying out of it.
Mom and Dad have respected my wish of not talking about Silas and not asking me what happened for all these years, and nothing else has changed in all this time besides Silas’s new job, so...
So I’m here, sitting in a small chartered jet, doing what I hate most in the whole world.
Waiting.
Worse, I don’t even know exactly what will happen when Silas arrives.
I texted him the details of the flight last night, only an hour after our moms had sent the texts, and he wrote back with a very simple “see you then.”
Which I hated, of course.
Every single detail I’ve heard of Silas in the past seven years, I’ve hated, but it’s time to deal with... everything.
No matter how hard it is, I know we need to at least clear the air. If only for the sake of our jobs.
I want to believe we can have a good working relationship. I’ve never shied away from PR. Not when I was first drafted to Portland or when I got traded to the Pirates my second season. It’s not only the fact that my stepfather is a media mogul that’s made me aware of the power of PR, but also my father’s career.
It would’ve been so easy for the general public to dislike the great Hulk Jankowski—he was mean on the ice, relentless, and unapologetically hungry for the win—but he made it his mission in life to be likable off the ice.
Even people who hated the LA Empire loved Hulk. He was always funny and charming in interviews, and even players who he’d crushed against the boards had to admit they liked him as a person.
Iknow it was all thanks to Mom’s influence.
They were friends for a good decade before they got married and started popping out babies, and being a supermodel, Mom knew more about PR than most people.
So yeah, I know I need to have a good working relationship with Silas now that he’s the head of PR for the Pirates.
No, Iwantto have a good working relationship with him. I do.
Do I wish Gab had given the job to literallyanyoneelse in the world?
Of course I do—I did.
But after the way Silas handled Charlie and Santa’s picture coming out, I have to admit he’s very good at his job. Once that realization hit a couple of months ago, I also realized how dumb it was of me to ever think he wouldn’t be great at any job.
Silas was even hungrier for success than me. The fact that the picture of success has changed doesn’t mean that hunger went away.
Knowing there are still things I know about him better than almost anyone in the world gives me hope that maybe we can... heal?
