Page 35 of Actions and Reactions
“Hurry up,” he screams, and I don’t slow my pace.
“Laney, I have a bit of a family emergency and need to make a call. Probably won’t take long”
He nods right away, but his frown tells me he wants to ask what’s happening. I appreciate that he doesn’t, and scurry away to the new equipment room. It’s empty, since Jeff is in the locker room making sure everything’s rightwith the guys, and that means I can make this call without having to worry about anyone else.
But of course Wolf doesn’t answer. The call goes straight to voicemail, and though I expected it—it’s such a typical Wolf thing to do—I still had to try, so I call Hawk. If anyone knows what’s going on it’ll be him.
“Vin, I can’t?—”
“I just saw the article,” I interrupt him. I know he’s probably scrambling and talking to their manager and PR guy all at the same time, but I just need to know he’s okay. “Is he okay?”
“I don’t know. He turned off his phone, I think. Why did he turn off his phone?” he snaps at me, but I know this is his way of dealing, so I really don’t take it personally.
“He’s Wolf,” I deadpan, and manage to sound somewhat soothing, but I start pacing. I don’t need to transfer any of my anxiety and fear to Hawk, he has enough of his own already.
“I don’t understand what the fuck is happening, Vin. What was he doing with CJ? And kissing a straight man is never a good idea.” His rambling would sound nonsensical to anyone who doesn’t know my cousin, but since he used to babysit us back in the day—a questionable choice by our parents indeed—I speak his language and know how he’s connecting the dots in his head.
Also, I don’t know who CJ is, at least I don’t think so... fuck, they have so many fucking friends it’s hard to keep track of all of them. But Hawk got married just four months ago, and I managed to make a quick escape toCalifornia for the day. Jules and Gab went too, as a matter of fact, as did my family. There were only like forty people or so at the surprise wedding, but I can’t be expected to remember every guest, can I? We were just starting the playoffs, so my mind was elsewhere.
“And did he suddenly forget he’s famous?” Hawk continues. “He knows he can’t be doing shit like that in public spaces.”
“I know, I know.” I try to placate him. “It looks like the dude was into it in the picture, though.” I think addressing the “straight” comment is the only thing I can do without making anything worse at this point.
“How am I supposed to know?” Hawk cries out dramatically. “He said he wanted to spend his birthday alone, and we told him it was fine, of course. It’shisfucking birthday, and he had to get some check-ups done at the hospital, since his hand is still giving him just a little trouble.” My heart hurts at that. There are few things Wolf loves in the world—thankfully as part of his family I’m one of them, and I’m grateful since he’s a good man and a great cousin—but music, singing, writing songs, and playing the guitar give him life. I know I’m not the only one who was scared shitless of what he’d become if he ever lost that.
“I’m sure he’s fine and on his way back to the ranch... wait, are you at the ranch?”
“Yes, Derek and I came back for the week,” he answers absentmindedly.
I wish I could do more in this situation, but I know I can’t, not really. Wolf is eleven years older than me. I’venever even tried to give him advice because... well, that would honestly be preposterous.
All I can do is . . .
“Please let me know when you hear from him, yeah? And tell him I love him. I need to get back to practice.”
“Of course. I’m gonna tell Derek so I don’t forget.”
I melt a little at that. When Hawk tells his husband to remind him of something it’s because he thinks it’s really important.
“Thank you.”
“Thanks for calling, Vin.”
“Of course,” I murmur.
I end the call and take a deep breath, then I allow myself only ten seconds to send good positive vibes Wolf’s way. It’s something our moms taught us to do when we were little, and though she was kind of a crazy hippie—she did name her children Wolf and Hawk—Aunt Shell was full of joy and light. She was love incarnate, and just for a second, I feel the loss of her all over again.
She wouldn’t panic in this situation, she’d be calm and smiling her serene smile, telling us to trust her brave Wolf.
So that’s what I’m going to do.
I snap back to reality and sprint to the locker room for the rest of my stuff, then sprint to the rink.
Seeing Silas in the stands, watching practice with his laptop on his thighs, brings me enough joy to have me smiling even while it feels like so many things are falling apart.
Six hourslater my fridge is full to the brim since my chef, Fred, just left, and there are two plates each with a mountain of spaghetti and meatballs ready to be devoured. I’m just waiting for Silas to get here.
We play against San Francisco tomorrow, then we’ve got St. Louis, New York, and Vancouver coming over, and after that we’ll go to LA and then Arizona for the last two pre-season games. This all means my fridge needs to be stocked with high-protein, high-calorie meals that are quick to heat up and won’t spoil in the next week. All the containers are labeled, though, since I never know which order to eat them in. Fred really is the best.
