Page 30 of Actions and Reactions
There’s too much emotion in moments like those for this to be as simple or as clinical as a friendship with benefits, right?
Yes.
And also, Si gave me his virginity.
What he thought of as his virginity at least.
I really don’t think he’d do that if this was just a fun time for him.
“I’m sure it’s more,” I tell Milkman, knowing in my bones I’m speaking the truth.
“Okay then.” He leans back and tilts his head, conceding to me. “If you say so, I believe you. Xander and I for sure started more as fuck buddies, but it became clear pretty quickly to both of us we wanted more, so yeah. If you feel it’s more, then it already is. But you might want to take him out on a date or something, and actually talk.” That gives me pause again and I frown.
“We talk,” I defend.
“Just sayin’.” He shrugs then claps me on the shoulder. “Now, how about we head down to the gym and do some miles on the bikes then go out for something fattening for dinner?”
“Yeah, that sounds good,” I agree, my mind already somewhere else.
Okay, notsomewhere, it’s very clearly on Silas, but I’m not about to try and change that.
He’s the only thing I want to think about.
8
Silas
Since today’stasks are handled, as I knew they would be, I’m more relaxed when I leave my office at the practice rink.
Yesterday was a fucking tough day. It wasn’t only the short conversation I had with Gab after Vinny left that helped me breathe easier, or the fact that Payton let me use his bands to relieve the pain in my knee before he packed the rest of the PT room, but also the conversations I had with the contractors and designers regarding the work on the facilities.
I had a hand in putting this project together, and I want it to go flawlessly.
In my head, the easiest way to have a peaceful existence when working in PR is to focus on what I call IR—internal relationships. As long as those are working welland on track, then it’s more than likely anything public will go well too. To be proactive in that area, I asked Gab if it would be okay to spruce things up a little for everyone in the facility, and I’m grateful she readily agreed.
When I woke up to an empty bed once more, it took me less than a second to understand that something had gone wrong during the night, because my leg was throbbing. I couldn’t find the right spot or angle for it when I took a hot shower at Vinny’s place. And I only stayed there long enough for that because I knew I’d likely only aggravate the fucking thing by driving.
It was hurting enough that I only got to relive and think about having sex when I was leaving my own apartment around two hours later. I couldn’t think about it too long, though... wouldn’t let myself. Because it’s all still so confusing, so... big.
And yeah, Vinny’s dick is big for sure, and it felt even bigger inside me, but that’s not the only big thing. It was an important step for me, and it was far more perfect than anything I could have imagined.
So I pushed it away, focused on the pain that was lessening at a snail’s pace, and went to work. It was slightly better when I got to the rink, and then Vinny...
Well, to say he caught me off guard with his announcement is one hell of an understatement.
I have no clue what he’s feeling, let alone whatI’mfeeling, so why did he feel the need to go tell Gab before we could even be sure we’re on the same page?
He said the most Ivan thing in the world to that—because it was the right thing to do.
I could have strangled him in that moment, but I restrained myself.
Who the fuck cares about right and wrong?
Why should we bother with it when we both learned a long time ago that right doesn’t matter?
But today is a new and better day.
I went by to check on the remodel and was happy to find it all going perfectly. Also, since I slept with my orthopedic pillows last night, my knee is as good as it gets today, which means I didn’t limp my way through the morning like I did yesterday.
