Page 23 of Wants and Needs
“So, he always scratches his neck when he’s feeling nervous or insecure. Don’t go telling that to anyone in any other football teams, huh?” I point at him and smile, hoping he understands that’s a joke, but looking at me seriously he shakes his head.
“That would be highly unethical,” he tells me, but then his eyes open wide and he nods a few times. “You’re not serious.”
“No, I wasn’t thinking you’d do that, but see, you’re already understanding my lame attempts at humor.” I laugh at myself and remember Liam said he liked my laugh when he closes his eyes and just listens.
6LIAM
Carter laughs,and I’m sure this time that he’s laughing at himself, but I don’t want to think about his motives. Instead I close my eyes so I can focus on the sound and enjoy it.
That is until he stops with a long, “Ahh,” like he enjoyed that laugh. I look at his forehead, hoping he’ll go on.
No one who isn’t part of my family has ever offered to explain other people to me like this. It’s making me feel closer to Carter already, like maybe we’re becoming friends.
I think I’d like to have a friend. It’s been years since the last one.
“Anyway, Adam is brave as hell, and a good man. He has a good sense of humor and if he’s smirking, then you can bet he’s teasing someone. If he’s smiling normally, then he’s only happy or enjoying the moment. He’ll always look people in the eye when he’s talking to them, except for when he’s too emotional ortrying not to laugh.” I nod to show Carter I’m paying attention, while also making an effort to file the information in my brain.
He’s making a lot of effort to “explain” his friends to me, and I don’t want him to think I’m not taking it seriously or appreciating it.
“Now, Sebas. He’s Adam’s husband, and he’s a sculptor. He owns one of the galleries I work at. We call him our drama queen; he’s very exuberant. If he shouts and screams or laughs loudly, then you can assume he’s exaggerating. Actually, he always says how he’s feeling, now that I think about it. If he gets quiet, and his face is serious, that’s when you know he’s having big feelings. If he’s silent but smiling, he’s really happy. Silent and frowning, probably really mad. Silent and crying, then you should get Adam straight away. If he does something that makes you uncomfortable, you can tell him straight away and he’ll respect your wishes and even defend them to others. He’s also almost always joking around, and can never keep a straight face.”
I smile at the list, and the way he goes through it.
“They sound like nice people.”
“They are,” he confirms.
“Next are George and Glenn. When it comes to George, what you see is what you get, but he can be very monotone with his expressions unless he’s looking at Glenn, so we’re gonna tell him he needs to express his emotions verbally. Glenn is a bit like you, academically brilliant. He’s a physicist, and he’s working at MIT now on his second PhD, in quantum mechanics, whatever that means.”
I know what that means, but I stay quiet because I don’t wantto interrupt Carter. He looks so focused. It’s drawing me in, and his soothing voice is keeping me captive and motionless.
“Anyway, Glenn is also very straightforward, and outside maybe Theo—we’ll get to him in a second—I think he’s the one you’ll get along with the best. I believe if you tell any of them you’re Autistic right away, they’ll immediately be mindful of talking in a way that will bring you into the conversation and include you, you know? They’re all good guys.”
“They won’t make fun of me?” I ask point blank.
Carter reels back, looking almost... hurt? Did I hurt him? I quickly explain because I don’t want that.
“People have made fun of me before. My brothers do it sometimes, but since they turned nine my mom told me I can retaliate with tickles and noogies, so that’s kept them in line.”
I have no clue if my explanation helped since Carter is now just staring with his mouth open. A long moment passes and then he closes his mouth and shakes his head a few times, closing his eyes tightly.
“No one will make fun of you,” he says, his voice sounding deeper this time, and his eyebrows are scrunched up in a deep frown. Is he mad?
“Are you mad?” I decide to come out and ask. It’s the best way to learn all his expressions.
“Yes,” he says simply.
“Why?”
“Because people making fun of you makes me mad. It reminded me that this world is full of assholes and you don’t deserve that.”
“Oh.”
I’m not usually lost for words, but I’m not sure how I’m supposed to react. After thinking about it for a moment I decide it feels nice, that he’s mad on my behalf.
“But anyway, none of my friends will make fun of you, trust me.”
I remember how at the airport I wondered why London trusted him when he was practically a stranger, but now I understand.
