Page 110 of Wants and Needs
I mull it over in my head and wonder if he really thinks this would work.
“But no one’s ever really heard of ESoothe,” I argue. “The idea is that the streaming companies help us get users in the first place.”
“Bro,” he says the word like it’s a groan. “If you make ads with your parents, Hawk and Wolf, Sterling, our damn therapists, all our football-playing friends, or even a few doctor friends I have, you’ll have a lot of users quickly, believe me. In fact, you’ll have so many users you’ll be glad you took my money, because I bet you anything most of it is going to go into paying for servers and programmers for the app and not for the connection with the streaming services. And I bet you need someone who’s good at sales and not just advertising. We’d have to look for someone soon.”
I take in the possibility, the excitement, the confidence, and can’t help but believe every word coming out of CJ’s mouth.
But then the doubt and frustration of the past two weeks creeps back in.
“I wouldn’t feel right not paying anyone for their time,” I mumble. “And what if that’s not enough. I’d be betting the success of my life’s work on advertisements when I don’t know anything about marketing anything.”
“Yes you do,” CJ says loudly and scoots to the very edge of his seat. “You’ve sold every one of us on the idea, and I don’t have to tell you about the theories that repressed emotion and lack of emotional education are the underlying causes for a lot of non-mental diseases.”
“Those theories aren’t proven, though.”
“That’s true, but it is a fact that people with better self esteem have better immune systems.”
“Yes, that’s true,” I mumble.
“And validation of your feelings increases self esteem. I remember very clearly hearing songs as a teenager that talkedabout exactly what I was feeling, and that was very validating. Hell, it still is. And if you’re worried about paying everyone, then we can make that happen. I can give you a billion dollars.”
He says it so casually, while I well... I don’t feel casual about nine zeroes atall.
“A BILLION?” I scream.
CJ waves that away as if it were just another detail. “I have like twenty more of those, and I think this is a worthy cause.”
“I don’t need a billion dollars,” I insist.
“Fine,” he sighs and rolls his eyes. “Then I’ll give you less than that, but the point remains. You can make this happen. You have my money and my support, and you can bet I’m gonna get Wolf to make fifty ads for you if that’s what it takes.”
“I...” I don’t know what to say. I’m pretty sure I have whiplash, but still, going with instinct is the only thing my body can process at the moment.
I launch myself at him and hug him.
For about three seconds he doesn’t hug me back, and then he does, but I can tell his touch is hesitant, and realize I have no idea if CJ likes hugs or not, so I pull away and smile at him.
“Thank you for believing in me.”
“We all do,” Carter’s voice comes from behind me and he shrugs at what must be my very surprised face. “I heard you scream, of course I’m going to come see if you’re all right.”
“Thank you,” I whisper at him, knowing those words will never be enough.
Maybe someday I’ll find those right words. Maybe someday I’ll be able to describe exactly how he makes me feel.
For now I stand and walk to him, hug him a lot longer than three seconds, and just breathe him in.
All I wanted was to make ESoothe a success. That was all I could focus on until I saw him appear on that escalator with London at the airport.
Even though I was worried for my sister, I still know that from that moment on I haven’t been able to stop thinking about him.
Most aspects of my daily life have changed thanks to Carter, and though in the past I think I would’ve resented them, I know he’s going to always take care of me. I know I can trust him to respect my needs, and I know he’s the man I want to hold onto for the rest of my life.
And most importantly, I finally understand that sometimes what you want is not what you need, but when your wants and needs are the same, life becomes a dream come true.
EPILOGUE
Carter
