Page 85 of Win You Over
His fringe falls in front of his eyes when he nods, and he wipes it away as he steps aside and ushers me in.
“Where is your dad?” I ask.
“At the country club kissing ass with someone or other.”
I follow Finn through the entry hall and into the kitchen. It looks so different to the last time we were here. Wordlessly, I place my key on the counter, my eyes lingering on theScooby Dookeyring we won at the arcade one summer. I have to turn my back to the key to stop from shoving it back in my pocket. The act of leaving it feeling like the final curtain call on what we used to have.
Finn opens the fridge, takes out two cans of soda, and gestures for me to follow him downstairs to his gaming room.
I take a seat on the sofa and he sits opposite me on his large, mid back gaming chair. A sweeping wave of nostalgia washes over me when I look around the room. So many hours of my life have been spent here, just like this. The two of us, playing on the Xbox, challenging each other to darts and doing whatever two teenagers do with too much time, too much money and bright futures ahead of them. I shake my head, trying to dispel the memories. They hurt too fucking much.
For a moment, only silence exists between us. It’s heavy, an entirely separate entity in the room that is as loud as it is quiet.
“I wanted it to be me,” he whispers, looking down at his hands gripping his knees. “I wanted you to love me.”
My heart aches in the cavity of my chest.
“I did love you, Finn. You were my best friend.”
He smiles sadly, shaking his head.
“Not like that. You know what I mean.”
I lean forward in my chair, resting my elbows on my knees.
“You never said anything. We could have talked about it.”
He scoffs. “It wouldn’t have made a difference, would it?”
He’s not wrong. I don’t love Finn like that. I never have.
I shake my head and his bobs in agreement. “Yeah, that’s what I figured.”
He falls quiet, and I ask what I came here to find out – though I have my suspicions, I need to hear it from him.
“How did you do it?”
Finn sits back, his eyes looking everywhere but at me. My fingers flick at the tag on the unopened soda can.
“I went to your place while you were away, to get away from my dad for a bit. And I sawhisbag in your room. So, I looked inside and found the knife.”
“And you took it…because?”
Finn’s hands fidget on his lap.
“Because I had already looked Holden up online. Everything can be found for a price. I found out what happened to him and to his dad. When I saw the engraving, I knew it was important to him.”
My jaw aches, my teeth grating together.
“You wanted to hurt him?”
He knocks his hands on his knees, his lips pursed tightly. I get the impression he’s warring with how honest to be.
“Yes,” he says bluntly after a beat. “I wanted you to see who he really is. That he doesn’t fit in here. And I wanted him to hurt.”
Anger burns hot in my blood, and I bite the inside of my cheek to stop from yelling.
“We’re better than him. And that friend of his,” he adds.
