Page 80 of Win You Over
“He’s okay.” She nods and I respond with a quick shift of my head.
“Baby,” Remi rasps. Nadine releases me from her hold and when my eyes meet Remi’s, I can’t help the sob that rips from my chest.
“Baby,” he says again, lifting a hand out for me.
I rush towards him, coming to a sudden halt when I reach his bed, afraid I’ll injure him more if I grab on to him the way my heart is screaming at me to do.
Tentatively, I lean over, place a hand on his heart and kiss his cheek. I don’t say anything, I haven’t been able to in days. But Remington doesn’t need words. He never has.
“I’m going to be okay,” he reassures me. I should be the one reassuring him, and his parents and Nadine, but here they are, all worried about me. “Hurts like a motherfucker. One hundred percent do not recommend.” Remington tries to smile, but I’ve catalogued his smiles like a bird watcher tracks their favourite flocks – coming to know and understand every one of them. And this? This is him covering up the pain he’s in. My guess is both physically and emotionally.
“I’m glad you’re here,” Remi says, his lips pressed to my ear. I pull back to look at him. His eyes are a dull blue, their sparkle dimmed by the events of the last few days, and his lips are dry and pale. He’s still the most beautiful person I’ve ever seen.
A hand lands on my shoulder, and I turn my head to find Curtis behind me.
“I’m sorry no one filled you in on what was happening. It wasn’t our intention to shut you out,” Curtis says. His eyes are warm but he looks as worn out as I feel.
“The knife cut through his skin and the muscle below, the tip nicking his liver on entry. In most cases, these sorts of bleeds can heal themselves. But Remi was bleeding into his abdomen, which caused his heart rate to spike dangerously.”
My stomach dips, a wave of nausea washing over me. Curtis keeps his hand on my shoulder, and I twist my arm behind me to search out Remington. Needing the solidness of him. His hand finds mine, fingers sliding together like they were made to fit just so.
“He had surgery to repair the cut and the doctors said he will make a full recovery. But he needs to rest.” Curtis shoots a stern glare over my shoulder. “You hear that, Rem?Rest.”
Nadine gets up and stands next to her dad.
“Mom has gone down to the cafe to get some lunch and coffee. We’re going to join her and give you two some privacy.”
I nod again, taking Nadine’s hand with my free one and squeezing.
“You’re welcome to stay, Holden,” Curtis offers. “You are always welcome.”
My eyes burn, but no tears fall as they both turn and walk out of the room. When we’re alone, I lift Remi’s arm and scoot myself onto the bed next to him, wrapping his arm around my shoulder and resting my head over his heart. I’m careful not to nudge his abdomen or rustle his bandages.
Remington kisses the top of my head, sucking in a lungful of air as he does so.
“I’m sorry he hurt you,” he says. “I’m sorry he took away your privacy.”
My stomach twists. There’s so much I have to say. That it wasn’t me who was hurt. That he has nothing to be sorry for. That I love him. I store it all away for another time, content with holding Remi in the silence that speaks volumes, both of our hearts open and vulnerable.
I lose track of time. Maybe hours pass but it could easily be mere minutes wherein, for the first time in days, I let myself relax, closing my eyes and listening to his steady breath and the gentle beating of his – very alive – heart.
“I don’t know what to do,” Remi whispers. His lips brush my forehead. “I want to hate him, but I don’t know if I can.”
My heart aches for this man. This man who has a heart so big that even now, he can’t stop loving the person who put him here.
Chapter 30
Remington
The doctors insisted I stay in for observation. My parents, concern etched into every line on their faces, agreed. So for the last six days, I’ve lain in this bed, a pile of books unread on the bedside table next to me.
Apart from my family, my boyfriend is my only other visitor. A few friends tried to stop by, but I refused to see them. I don’t want to see anyone but Holden.
Holden who visits me in the hospital between his shifts at the grocery store, looking pale and exhausted. His hair messy and bags under his eyes. His smile weak and his eyes dim. When my parents aren’t here, he slides off his shoes, lifts the blankets and crawls into bed with me, resting his head on my chest.
That’s where he is now. His ear pressed to my heart, and his fingers tapping the rhythm of my heartbeat against my chest. We haven’t spoken about the events of the last week. We’ve barely spoken at all. We just hold each other and he sleeps while I breathe him in, savouring the solidness of his body in my arms.
I miss him. Which is an odd thought to have when he’s right here with me. But I do. I miss the easy intimacy between us. I miss the laughter and the joking. I miss the taste of his skin and the feel of his lips. I don’t know when last we kissed.
