Page 60 of Win You Over
“You really are beautiful, Holden. There is nothing about you that turns me off. Certainly not your scars.”
He keeps his eyes scrunched closed, and it hits me then that he always diverts his gaze away.
“Do you never look?” I ask, my hand dancing over his scars.
“No. I try not to. I mean, it’s hard not to get a glimpse when I’m naked, but I’d rather not see it all.”
“It’s not bad, I promise,” I whisper, then kiss over his navel.
“One day, when I have the money, I’ll cover it all with tattoos and then maybe I’ll be able to look at myself in the mirror and see what you see.”
Rolling to the side, I pick up the blue marker where it was left earlier, then take his arm, drawing hearts on the underside, where the skin is pale and soft.
“What are you doing?” He opens one eye enough to see me.
“Drawing.”
“I got that part. But why?”
“Because you’re the prettiest canvas that I’ve ever seen. Present company excluded.”
Holden laughs, his chest shaking with it.
I draw more hearts down his arms and then move to his ribs.
“Can I?” I ask, and he nods.
With the felt tip pressed lightly to his skin, I draw patterns over his chest. Around his nipples, along his sternum and down the other arm.
“One day you’ll see what I see, baby. Mark my words.”
Chapter 23
Holden
Remington’s phone rings from its spot on the desk. He doesn’t so much as flinch.
It’s really fucking early, and I’d be annoyed at it waking me if not for the fact that I’ve been up for a while, watching the sun rise through the cracks in the curtains, relishing in the way Remi’s hair glows golden in the morning light. Like he’s too magnificent to be real. I run a finger over his nose, and he scrunches it up and nuzzles closer into my neck.
When it rings again, I sigh, lift his arm off my chest, slide out of bed and walk over to the desk, turning down the ringer as I look at the screen to see Finn’s name. It stops ringing seconds before starting up again. It’s not the first time he’s called or messaged in the days since they last spoke. But for whateverreason, Remington has chosen not to answer. When I asked, he told me they’d catch up when we’re back.
There’s a part of me that feels bad for Finn. He clearly feels something for Remi – friendship or more – and it must hurt to be shut out like this. That’s the only reason I can come up with for why he’s stopped in to see Theo twice.
The closer we get to the end of our holiday, the more thoughts of what happens when we’re home surface. Finn is hisbest friend, regardless of what I am to him. Finn came first. That has to count for something. It’s not like I’d ever make him choose one of us over the other, but can the same be said for Finn?
Glancing behind me, I take in Remington’s naked form, his head on my pillow and his body star-fished across the bed. My body is slick with sweat where he pasted himself to me in the night.
He never stops touching me now. Whether we’re awake or asleep, alone or with company, he touches me. Pecks on the cheek, a pinky twisted with mine, or his hand in my hair. Remington touches me like I might fade away if he doesn’t. And I breathe it in, inhaling his affection like air. I don’t want to go back to my pre-Remi life. Not now that I know what it’s like to be wanted and adored. Not now that I know what his skin tastes like or the noises he makes when he’s cresting the edge of orgasm. Not now that I know how much pleasure his fingers can bring or how much his smile warms every dark corner of my soul.
Pushing the hair out of my eyes, I look at him one last time, tracing the lines of muscle down his back before leaving the room and closing the door behind me. The house is quiet, and when I step out onto the patio, I’m met with the fresh scent of the sea. This is my favourite part of the day – apart from the times I’m wrapped up in the arms of the blond with the big smile and the wicked mouth.
I take a seat on one of the plush sofas, putting my feet up on the table in front of me. From here, I have a beautiful view of the turquoise sea, stretching to infinity.
Tomorrow is the wedding, and then we have two more days on the island before we head back to the States. There’s a big part of me that never wants to leave. But I’m not a dreamer. I know that’s not a possibility. Life awaits us back home in Marina Cove.
As it is, I’ll have to pull double shifts to bring my bank balance to where it needs to be to cover next month’s rent.
Worth it though. Coming here with Remington, getting to know his family, discovering things about my sexuality I hadn’t known before; it has all been worth it. And if my heart gets broken on our return, it still will have been worth it.
