Page 68 of The Wives of Hawthorne Lane
“I ended it because I wanted to work on us, on our marriage. I couldn’t stand the thought of losing you.” Even as she speaks the words she knows she’s supposed to say, she isn’t sure how much of it is true. Audrey has been lying for so long, to Seth, to herself, that somewhere along the way, the truth has become a slippery, evasive thing, a minnow darting between her fingers that she can’t quite grasp. Had she ended the affair, scrambled to save her marriage, out of love for Seth or because she was simply too afraid to disrupt the comfortable complacency of their lives?
“I just…I hope you can find it in your heart to forgive me,” she adds. “I know it won’t be today or even tomorrow, but I want the chance to earn your trust back. I hope that, in time, we can—”
Seth shakes his head. His next words are glacially cold: “No. You’re not finished yet. I need to hear all of it. From the beginning.” He reaches into his bedside drawer, takes out two white pills, crushes them between his teeth, and swallows them down.
Audrey winces. She’d been hoping to leave out the sordid details, but if this is what Seth needs from her, she owes him that much.
And so Audrey lets go of her pride and she tells Seth everything. About how she’d met Colin at the martini bar where they’d drunkenly shared their first kiss and about how that kiss led to an affair that lasted six months. She tells her husband that she’d ended things with Colin when she’d come to her senses, realized that she wasn’t willing to destroy their marriage for a man who meant nothing to her, and that he’d been reluctant to let her go.
The more she talks, the more easily the words flow, like a river breaking through a dam.
She tells him how Colin flooded her phone with calls and texts. How she blocked his number, so he’d shown up at her office, dragged her into an alley, and forced himself on her. And how, when she still wouldn’t go back to him, he’d strolled into their home as if he had every right to be there and cornered Audrey in the basement, threatening her and terrifying her beyond belief.
When Audrey is finished, when she feels wrung out, like she sliced open her veins and bled herself dry of every last drop of the truth for him, she looks at her husband, nervously awaiting his reaction. She’d expected him to be furious, to scream and shout. She’d expected broken glass and smashed picture frames. She’d expected him to demand that she pack her things and leave. But Seth remains terrifyingly silent.
Audrey watches him, the emotions trotting across his face like actors on a stage: sadness giving way to disappointment, disappointment becoming hurt, and, finally, hurt turning into burning anger. But still he says nothing.
“Seth?” she says after several moments, her voice tentative and unsure. “I can’t imagine how you must be feeling right now, but please, talk to me. Just say something. Anything.”
His face hardens into an iron mask, and when he finally speaks, his words are scalpel-sharp, as if all of the anger he’s been holding inside for the past two months over the loss of his career, over the affair he’s long suspected, is concentrated into six words:
“I’m going to fucking kill him.”
41
Georgina
Hawthorne Lane
“Thank you!”
The little girl’s face lights up in delight as Georgina hands her one of the homemade cookies she baked for the fall festival. They’re orange cardamom with a hint of vanilla in the shape of pumpkins, and they’re decorated with a shiny layer of royal icing. She’d spent hours piping those little curling vines, packing individual cookies into cellophane treat bags, but it was a labor of love. In her kitchen, Georgina feels confident and capable. There, she can gather her ingredients and make something that brings people joy. Colin tends to leave her to her own devices while she’s cooking—he has very little interest in what she does in the kitchen—so she can take her time. She can pipe and frost and decorate to her heart’s content, until she’s created a thing of beautiful perfection.
She looks out over the crowded cul-de-sac. The fall festival is starting to get busy now. Families peruse the vendor stalls, children in costumes—astronauts and ballerinas, dinosaurs and butterflies—run happily through the streets, collecting treats, their eyes bright and shining with excitement. Across the street, Hannah lifts a hand in greeting, and Georgina returns the gesture with a subtle wave before adjusting the collar of her turtleneck sweater. She has the distinct impression that the other woman knows exactly what she’s hiding beneath it, the purple bruises that snake around her neck in the shape of Colin’s fingers. Georgina finds it almost unnerving how well Hannah can see through her when no one else ever has. Sheremembers Hannah’s story about her mother. Maybe that’s how she does it, but…why? Why does she care so much about helping Georgina? And can’t she see that it’s a lost cause? That with a man like Colin, there is no winning, no way Georgina walks out of this unscathed. And then she remembers what Colin said about Hannah:Everyone has something they’re hiding. Some are just better at it than others.Georgina wonders whether there was some truth to his words. She can’t help but feel like there’s more to Hannah’s story.
“Where’s Dad?” Sebastian asks, pulling Georgina from her thoughts as he drops a cookie into another child’s bucket. He doesn’t take care with it like she does, just lets it land in the orange plastic pumpkin with aplonk. The delicate cookie will be broken now, the icing cracked. She wonders if she should offer the little boy another one—she doesn’t want him to be disappointed—but he dashes away to the next house, his treat bucket swinging wildly at his side.
“In the garage,” Georgina replies. “He was going to get an extra table out of storage.” She turns and looks over her shoulder, sees Colin standing in the garage holding a drink in one hand, a Maglite flashlight in the other. One of those heavy, expensive ones he’d insisted they needed for some reason that still evades Georgina. He shines it into the upper rafters.
When she turns back around, Sebastian’s attention is already elsewhere. His eyes are trained forward, a muscle in his jaw working. “Does this guy never fucking learn?”
“Language. There are children here,” Georgina chides him, following his line of sight to Christina and Lucas, who are standing on the opposite side of the cul-de-sac sharing a pink cloud of cotton candy.
She sees how Christina looks up at Lucas, her body angled toward his. There’s something so sweet about it, the way he takes her hand in his, weaving his fingers between hers as he gives her the sugary treat. Georgina knows that she’s witnessing her daughter’s first love. And that there’s magic in that. As Christina gets older, there will be other boys, other, bigger loves, but there will never be another one like this one. She’s going to remember this boy for the rest of her life.
“Couldn’t find it,” Colin says as he approaches the table. He setsthe flashlight next to the basket of pumpkin cookies and takes a large sip of the amber contents of his glass. Living with Colin has made Georgina extremely adept at predicting his moods. She can sense them like the changing tides, knows when it’s best to appease him and when she should avoid him altogether. But there’s something off about him today, something she can’t quite read. He seems to be on edge as he looks over the crowd gathered for the festival. It’s like he’s waiting for someone. She wonders who that might be and why he’s draining his glass so quickly while he waits.
“What’s going on?” he asks.
“That,” Sebastian responds, nodding toward Lucas and Christina. Christina is laughing at something Lucas said, her head tipped back, her blond hair tumbling behind her like a waterfall.
Georgina can feel Colin tense beside her, the muscles in his body coiling.
“I thought I was clear about the rules,” he says, his voice a snarl. Georgina can smell the liquor, sour on his breath. She hates when Colin drinks. It makes him too unpredictable.
“I’ll go talk to her,” Georgina quickly offers, and sets off across the street. Maybe she can run interference before Colin humiliates their daughter by dragging her home in front of all their neighbors.
But Sebastian darts ahead of her and reaches Lucas and Christina before Georgina can. He pushes Lucas from behind, sending him tumbling to the pavement.
