Page 112 of Wild Catch
Taking a deep breath like I’m breaking out through the surface of pool water, I retreat by one big step and tighten my arms around me. “Beats me because I clearly shouldn’t,” I admit bitterly.
“Right.” His expression changes. A wrinkle appears between his eyebrows and he reels back a little. “It’s best if you don’t get tangled with a bad apple.”
“That’s not it,” I snap, annoyed out of my mind. “I already told you, you’re nothing like your relatives. But even then you’re not right for me.” He stays quiet and I’m not even sure he understands why, so I add, “I don’t want a repeat of Ben Williams—a guy who just wants me for my body and doesn’t care about the rest of me. And Iknowthat you’re not like him at all, but that’s all I am to you anyway. You are attracted to me, I can tell from the way you look at me and you can’t deny it?—”
He cuts in. “I don’t.”
I suck in air through my teeth but continue, “But you yourself said that you just want my body, and that’s not at all what I envision for myself anymore. So yeah, I care about you, but from that night on it’s only going to be as a friend.”
“Friend?” Logan laughs the word out and punctuates it with a scoff, and this is the most emotion he’s shown in this conversation. “I can’t ever be your friend, Rose.”
“Why the hell not?” I complain.
“I want you too damn much for that. I would be a stinking liar if I even tried to treat you as a friend.”
My mouth opens.
“Damn it,” he mumbles, running his hands through his damp hair and pulling at it as he looks away.
“Don’t…” My voice trembles and I breach the distance again. He braces himself, rightfully so, because I smack his chest. “Don’t you dare freaking say that. You can only want all of me, Logan Kim. Not just a piece. And if you can’t do that, then stop. Just stop!”
Logan makes a sound like I’m hurting him, even though we both know it’s my hand what’s smarting.
But then his hands are around my waist and he pulls me against him just like he did one week ago at the photoshoot. My purse strap slides off my shoulder and it clatters on the ground, but none of us move.
“I told you, you’re the one who calls the shots but I…” he whispers, lowering his forehead to mine. He takes a deep breath that makes his nostrils flutter, and sighs. “I really need to kiss you right now before I lose my mind.”
My hands close against his chest and pound softly. “Is that all you want from me? Just a kiss? After everything I just said?”
His voice comes out like gravel. “I don’t deserve all of you, Rose.”
The words echo in my head. Something lurks beneath them that makes me even more upset than before.
“But I deserve more,” I say.
Logan freezes and I take advantage of that to push him away.
My whole body trembles with anger and with want, but somehow it still functions. I still breathe. I still manage to pick up my purse and glare at him, and even take a few steps away until my willpower falters.
I turn over my shoulder. Like that night after the pool party, he stands exactly where I left him, but now that he’s not wearing his helmet the desire is openly on display on his face. His dark eyes are like fire as they take me in, and they beckon me to return to his arms, to kiss him. To surrender.
I want him, too—more, even. I would take all of Logan Kim gladly. His crankiness, his silences, his smiles, his frowns, his hopes and fears. I want him mind, body, and soul. And the fact that he doesn’t want me the same way is a gaping wound the size of a chasm between who I was before him and after.
If it hadn’t been for my ex, I would run to Logan’s arms right now and set myself up for an even bigger heartache.
My chin trembles and the vision of him distorts with oncoming tears.
Logan notices and his eyes widen, one of his hands reaching in the air toward me before he drops it.
That tiny gesture makes my resolve crumble a bit because deep down I know he cares about me, just not enough.
Wiping my face with the back of my hands, I decide to call one last shot. “If a single kiss is all I can get from you, then I’m going to take it for my own sake, and after that we’ll go back to being strangers. Not friends. Not exes. Two people who have nothing to do with each other. Are you fine with that?”
Logan hesitates for a second, but then he tightens his jaws, his fists and every muscle. “Yes, that’s fine.”
“Fine,” I spit out, a loaded word between us. Tossing my purse wherever it falls, I launch myself at Logan and crash into him.
He stumbles back against the impact but catches me as our lips collide. His arms come around me and one hand settles at the back of my neck, grabbing it possessively. I land with my chest pressed up against his, his thighs around my legs, my hands cradling his jaw not so gently, savoring the feel of his stubble against the palms of my hands.
