Page 53 of Shutout
I hum from deep in my throat, my mind churning.
This sounds a lot like a preemptive rejection, but the fact that she’s bringing up such a wild topic all on her own means she’s thought about it—about being with me. Maybe marrying me.
My body vibrates with energy. Couldn’t be her, she says, while revealing that she’s terrified about my wellbeing. Because that’s how much she cares about me.
“Come watch my games,” I spew all of a sudden. “Exposure therapy, right? It’s what makes people pull through their phobias.”
“No, thanks. I’m really happy with my hockey phobia.”
“Seriously.” I huff. “The more games you watch, the more at ease you’ll feel. And whenever I get hurt, you’ll know exactly under what circumstances. Taking the uncertainty off it should reduce the impact, right?”
“When? Shouldn’t it beif?” Her face scrunches up.
I nod. “When. It’s inevitable. Max sprained his ankle pretty bad during last year’s playoffs. And your brother pulled his groin two games ago. Did you freak out then?”
Liv cringes. “I literally don’t need to think about my brother’s groin ever.”
“It’s a very common injury for goalies.” I roll my eyes. “And you haven’t answered the question.”
“Well, no.”
“So what’s different with me?”
She startles, her eyes widening as she looks up at me. “Um, nothing, I guess,” she says with a high pitched voice.
Which means entirely the opposite.
I use all my willpower not to grin in victory. Maybe she says she doesn’t want to marry me right now—and fine, we’re only twenty. But she worries about me more than about her brother or brother-in-law. She may not realize what this means. That she could get to love me.
And I viscerally remember how she kissed me—like she’d been waiting her whole life for someone to make her mewl like she did. At least on a physical level, she already knows we work.
Liv’s the one. She’s always been the one. I was just too much of a shithead to understand that. All those athletes I dated were like me, more focused on their sports than on anyone else. And that was safe. That was the opposite of Liv, who couldn’t care less about hockey or anything else that features in the Olympics. It’s the one thing we’ve never had incommon, the excuse I used all the way since high school as to why we’d never work.
When all along she’s been the only person to make my heart beat as fast as hockey. And now that I get it, there’s no way in hell I’m letting her slip away a second time.
Calmly, I turn back to the dishes and say, “I’ll get you season tickets.”
CHAPTER 20
OLIVIA
After a couple of weeks, half of my body weight is now made out of popcorn and Coke. I’m sitting in the middle of the stands of our home arena, watching the latest iteration of the Thunder Bolts vs. Bulldogs classic. This means the whole place is packed to the brim with a blue ocean, not even leaving a single row for any brave Bulldogs fans to come heckle our guys.
Yeah,our. By virtue of getting puppy-eyed into coming to these games by a certain captain, I’m now part of the blue ocean. Very annoying.
I jam my hand in the massive tub of popcorn and grab a handful that I can eat like a chipmunk. Mina’s laughing beside me.
“Whodda thunk that the biggest hockey hater would become a puck bunny.”
“I am not a puck bunny,” I snap while crunching on my snack. “I’m not chasing anyone’s jersey here.”
“Are you sure?” She wiggles her eyebrows. “Like, if Brooklyn all of a sudden asks you out, you wouldn’t?”
I cough. Balancing the tub between my knees, I pick up mycup of soda between the heels of my hands to take a big sip. If I try to grab it with greasy fingers, it’ll slip and cause a catastrophe. Like it happened last week.
“I’m here for myself, not for him,” I retort, lifting my chin. “If I don’t come to his home games, he’ll bombard me with texts begging me to come. And I really value my peace of mind.”
“I’m going to spare you the racy pun I could make there and just say this.” I brace, because now that she’s said it I can see how this conversation could get so much worse. “First, if you weren’t hoping for something, this man wouldn’t bother you at all no matter how persistent he is.”
