Page 13 of Hot Four Teacher
When I’m quiet for a while, Leah says, “That long, huh?”
I reply with, “The last guy I was with was Mike. He and I were together when Eve was in kindergarten.”
Ronnie chokes on her drink. “Michelle, Eve is fifteen! You haven’t had sex in ten years?”
“Why don’t you scream it a little louder? I’m not sure that everyone heard you,” I snap.
“Sorry. It’s just a little shocking. No wonder you’re wound so fucking tight.”
“I am not wound–”
She doesn’t let me finish. “Please tell me you’re at least gettingsomesatisfaction with a vibrator or something.”
“I used to have a tiny little bullet one, but it finally gave out. If I really want to do it, I just do it with my fingers.”
“Oh, good lord.” Ronnie acts completely flummoxed by my words.
I hold up my hand. “Hey, I’m doing just fine. It’s not like I miss sex all that much. It wasn’t all that great when Iwasdoing it.”
Ronnie says, “It sounds like you just haven’t been with anyone who was any good at it.”
Leah jumps in, “Yeah, I’m going to have to agree with Ronnie on this one. When you find someone who actually cares about makingyoufeel good, it’sa complete game changer. You need to find someone who cares about how many orgasms you have and makes it his personal mission to keep upping that number.”
Ronnie stares blankly at her. “I’m going to do my best to ignore the fact that you’re talking about our brother.” She turns her attention back to me. “But Leah is right. With the right guy, sex will be incredible.”
“How many right guys have you met?” I joke.
“Oh, honey, you aresonot ready for my level of getting laid.”
Ronnie used to believe in having fun and never being tied down. Her job as a travel photographer took her all over the world, and shehad funwith quite a few guys. It wasn’t until recently that she settled down with Drew, a single dad who figured out how to deal with her.
She adds, “You know that Drew must bereallygood at it to get me to agree to monogamy.”
All of us know that there’s way more to it than that, but we also know that Ronnie isn’t always great with feelings, so none of us say anything.
Liz says, “I’m certainly not on Ronnie’s level either, but I do agree. I think some casual dating would be good for you…and getting laid.”
They continue to discuss my dating and sex lives–or lack thereof–while I continue to suck down the delicious drink in front of me.
The only thing clear to me right now is that if we are going to continue this conversation, I’m going to need another fishbowl.
Chapter six
Guys Should come with Warning Labels
Michelle
Do you understand how hard it is to sit around a table and listen to three other women talk about how amazing their sex lives are? I know they aren’t trying to brag or anything petty like that. We’ve just all been drinking and telling wild stories.
I wish I had something wild to share, but I’ve been listening rather than talking. All of my sexual conquests could probably be shared in the span of averyshort conversation.
Eve was conceived in under five minutes. And both relationships I had after that were honestlypretty vanilla. Sure, the sex felt good, but I’m pretty sure they both had someone on the side that was getting the highlights of their efforts.
Nothing I’ve had compares to what my sisters are talking about. Their men apparentlyreallycare about their pleasure. They care to the point of multiple orgasms. I’ve never even had one by a man. Well, there was one, but I did the majority of the work while he just licked me a couple of times. I don’t think that counts.
As I sit here and listen to things I don’t have, I keep on sipping on the giant fishbowl.
And then another.
