Page 154 of Swordheart
“Do you think you can untie it? Or that I can untie you?”
Halla put her wrists alongside Zale’s. “I think you have a little more slack. Aunt Malva was not happy with me when she tied mine.”
“Fair enough.” The priest began picking at Halla’s knots with their fingertips. “Dear me, yes. You know, after the last time, I started thinking that it would be wise to carry a knife in my boot.”
“And?”
“It turns out that is an excellent way to ruin your sock. I got the most fascinatingly shaped blister, too. Now I rather wish I’d dealt with the blister.”
“Men have died of blisters,” said Halla. “At least, so Sarkis tells me.”
“Good heavens. Where is Sarkis, anyway?”
“I wish I knew.”
Zale raised a thin eyebrow. Halla sighed and began recounting the story.
She found herself trying to make excuses for Sarkis as she told it.I’m sure he didn’t mean to lie…It was all a long time ago…
Zale paused in picking at the ropes and glanced up at her. “Didhesay any of that?”
She sighed. “No. He said that was a coward’s way out. That he knew what I believed and never corrected me.”
“That sounds more like him.” Zale bent their head over her wrists again.
“He should have told me.”
“Yes.”
“Now he’s gone, though. Alver said that he’d gone off with Bartholomew and Nolan and left me here.”
Zale met her eyes, frowning. “Thatdoesn’t sound like Sarkis at all.”
Halla shook her head. “I gave up the sword,” she said quietly. “He doesn’t have to stay with me anymore. I always thought he must hold me in contempt, until… well, until last night, then I thought… oh, it doesn’t matter.” She could feel tears prickling behind her eyelids and tilted her head back. “I told him he could belong to himself now. I guess he took me up on it.”
Zale snorted. “And how exactly is he supposed to draw himself?”
Halla blinked at them. “What?”
“How is he going to draw his own sword? If he goes back into it, he’s stuck. It’s like trying to pick yourself up.”
“I… err… but someone else could draw the sword, couldn’t they? I don’t have to draw the sword every time, but I’m still—I was still—the wielder.”
“Right, but he can never be the first person to draw the sword.”
Halla opened her mouth to say that she’d given him the sword so it shouldn’t matter, and suddenly remembered the first night that she and Sarkis had met.I can’t very well wield myself, lady.
“I’m an idiot…” she said, and felt tears start to threaten at last.
“You were angry,” said Zale. “Few of us are at our best when we are angry.” They glanced up at her. “And it is very likely thatidiocysaved you a great deal of unpleasantness.”
“What?”
“We are not dealing with good men, Halla. They moved tooquickly to have done so in ignorance. If you had not given up the sword, I suspect they would have made you give it up.”
“Yes, but…” This seemed rather less important at the moment than what Sarkis must be feeling. “What if he thinks I hate him? What if he thinks I don’t want to see him anymore?”
“We will go and find him and tell him otherwise.” They got their nails under one loop and managed to tug it upward. Halla winced as the other ropes pulled tighter. “Sorry.”
