Page 141 of Swordheart
“Really? Likethat? Why?”
“People are complicated.”
“You’re not like that, are you?”
“No.”
“Because I have ugly feet.”
“Everyone does. Human feet are inherently ugly. Your breasts are exemplary, however.”
“You really think so?”
“Yes.”
“I’ve never been told that I had exemplary breasts before.”
“I maintain that your countrymen are idiots.”
“Are you saying that if I wandered around the Weeping Lands, I’d be complimented on my chest? Because honestly, that doesn’t sound entirely positi—mmmf!”
Some moments later: “You did that so I’d stop asking questions, didn’t you?”
“Yes.”
“Sorry. I’m nervous.”
“I gathered.”
“I don’t know why I’m nervous. It’s not like the times I lost my virginity.”
A long, long pause. Then, wearily: “I’m going to regret asking. IknowI’m going to regret asking. But… times?”
“Well, he always tried to avoid any unpleasantness. And you know how it is with virginity, there’s usually some blood and it hurts and everyone’s nervous. So it took us about a week and I think three tries to actually… you’re beating your head against the headboard. Are you all right?”
“If he lived, I would burn his lands and sow the fields with salt for the indignity.”
“Awww. That’s sweet… wait. Was that supposed to be sweet?”
Another, heavier sigh.
“Halla. I need you to do something for me.”
“Yes?”
“For the next ten minutes, the only words I want you to say are ‘Yes,’ ‘No,’ ‘Harder,’ ‘More,’ and ‘There.’ And if you don’t like what I’m doing, ‘Stop.’ Can you please do that for me?”
“Sure. I mean, yes.”
“Thank you.”
The conversation after that involved fewer words, and, eventually, more gasping. Halla eventually began crying out Sarkis’s name, too, but he didn’t mind at all.
CHAPTER 45
Sarkis held Halla in his arms, listening to her breathing, and felt well pleased with the world.
He had spent a long time inside the sword, only coming out when his wielder needed an unkillable weapon or an untiring guardsman. It had been a pleasure, these last few weeks, to live as a man again, instead of as a weapon. To eat food and walk as a man, to sleep, however lightly, in the world instead of inside the blade.
