Page 85 of Intentional Foul
We didn’t need to go to the doctor to figure that out. It was Anissa, she isn’t going to accept us as a couple. I’ve betrayed her trust, and no one was good enough for her boys.
“What happened between you and Mom,” he pushed, and I remained quiet.
“Jhae, I need you to talk to me,” he said, and I bawled in tears against his shirt.
As I wailed, my chest jerked up and down. “She isn’t going to accept us, Malcolm, she isn’t. She asked me to be Khaira’s god mom,” I struggled to finish my sentence and dizziness reintroduced itself to me.
“Jhae, I’m going to trigger a panic attack and we’re going to work through it,” she said, and I squeezed Malcolm’s hand.
I passed out in Malcolm’s arms two weeks ago. He tried rushing me to the hospital, but I refused to go. A private doctor came by and checked me out. He prescribed anxiety medication and scheduled a follow up appointment. As soon as the sunlight hit, he had scheduled my appointment with Dr. June. We quickly confirmed my fear of Anissa’s reaction triggered my panic attacks. I can’t respond to her text messages without shaking. Malcolm was anxious about the season opener approaching and leaving me home to fend for myself. Dr. June peered over at Malcolm, and he called his mother on speaker.
“Hey Mom,” he said as I tensed and clenched my fist. “Where is everybody,” he asked.
“The real question is where have you, Marquise, and Jhae been. No one is responding to my texts,” Anissa said.
The soft but commanding tone of her voice accelerated my heart. I focused on Dr. June as she mouthed the words.
“Training camp and Jhae’s working on the album,” he said.
“I’m glad you said something. I was getting ready to drop by Jhae’s condo,” she said and then I lost control.
The pattern of my breathing increased, and a drumming sound went off in my ears. I darted my eyes around the room, but I couldn’t focus. Sweat formed as I struggled to breathe. Blinking, Dr. June appeared in my direct vision and talked me down into a calm state.
“I can’t leave her. I’m talking to the coach about a leave of absence,” Malcolm said, and I shook my head no.
“Malcolm, we have a month. I can do it.”
“Fuck, this is all my fault. I did this shit all wrong,” he said as he paced from the couch to the chaise.
Guilt surrounded me as I watched him unravel. I knew if he didn’t show up, Anissa would inquire as to why. Nothing good could come from it. Dr. June was able to calm us down.
“As a unit, this is a test but I’m confident you both can pass. I’m asking you not to do anything drastic, Malcolm, as in apply for leave or distancing yourself from your mother,” Dr. June said, and I squeezed his hand.
One Month Later
“Baby, I’m not comfortable leaving you but I’m going to give this a try,” Malcolm said.
For the past month, we had been preparing for his road trip and getting my panic attacks under control. I’m now able to text Anissa without my hand shaking but calling her is still a no. Malcolm pecked my lips several times as I witnessed the uncertainty in his eyes.
“Trust me, Malcolm, I’m going to be in the studio and the bed until you get back,” I said.
He kissed me before releasing me. Marquise glared at me, and I waved him over to me.
“Jhae, you call us if you need anything. I got the security guard looking out for you too,” Marquise said, and I smiled.
Since the panic attacks started, he’d been on my ass about my health. If I expressed any other emotion outside of happiness, he needed answers.
“I need a health report everyday I’m gone,” he said, and I smiled.
“Okay, but you better dunk on anybody under the rim the first chance you get,” I said, and he nodded.
I waved them away, locking the door behind them and headed to the studio. Using a video chat feature, I conducted my first interview. Erin appeared on the screen and we both smiled.
“Hi, Erin, it’s nice to see you. I would love to chat, but I need to get down to business,” I said.
She lifted her pen to her tablet, alerting me she was ready to take notes.
“I’m going to be honest with you, this position will be constantly evolving. I need a right-hand man; someone I can trust. Jhae D Records is new and independent. The hours will be long, the work will be endless,” I said.
