Page 152 of Tangled Hearts
Noir’s chin trembled. “But it’s too soon.”
He hiked his shoulders. “Time doesn’t measure shit. You know that. You wouldn’t evenfeelguilty if it wasn’t real.”
She sat with that. Let it press against every ache in her chest.
“I think I been in love with Cash,” she whispered.
Hov nodded. “Makes sense. My young nigga been on you for at least a decade.”
She wiped her face with the back of her hand, smiling. “He waited on me. He never tried to compete with what me and Christian had. He just… loved me anyway. Even when I was giving halfway.”
Hov leaned back, studying her like a little sister he’d protect at all costs. “Then you already know what to do. Do whatever makes you happy… happiness is all that matters for Black kids like us. We deserve all that shit. We got a right to every selfish risk we take to hold that shit.”
She kissed his cheek. “Christian probably loved you more than he loved me.”
“Watch out,” he playfully mushed her away.
“I’m serious,” she tried to stop crying but it just kept coming.
Hov rubbed her back, letting her cry into his side.
“Hov, I’m for real. Christian loved you so much.”
Hov’s hand came up to cup his face. He was tired of crying but he couldn’t help it. “I love that nigga too… and I miss him.” His voice broke. “I’m already missing my big homie.”
There was so much Noir wanted to say, but she kept it to herself. She’d made a promise and would always keep it. Instead she looked toward the door. “Where’s Daijon?” she asked about her little brother who wasn’t little anymore.
“Downstairs with your mama… down there with Rocky.”
Noir actually laughed. “She’s too fine for him.”
Hov smirked. “He said he gon’ marry her.”
“He better stack his money then. Rocky a whole mood.”
They both chuckled. The air lightened enough for them to finally breathe.
Knycole knocked and came in holding Qua, who ran straight to Noir and hugged her neck.
“You okay, Titi No?” Qua whispered.
She nodded through tears. “Yea, baby. You came to see me?”
He held up a picture he drew—stick figures of her and Christian with big hearts around them. “I love you,” he told her.
That broke her all the way down again.
Knycole sat beside her and kissed her cheek. “We got you. Whatever you need.”
“I don’t even know what I need,” Noir whispered.
“You don’t have to know. That’s why we here. We’ll be whatever you need until you figure it out.”
Downstairs, Daijon hollered something about Rocky’s ass being fat and got a pop from Nakorea for being too loud in a grieving house. They hollered because they heard the slap.
Hov grinned. “Lil bro bold.”
“He really like her,” Noir smiled through tears. “They gon’ be married by twenty-one.”
