Page 149 of Tangled Hearts
Cash crouched down fast, his arms went around her before she could fight him off. She swung at him, hit his chest, shoved him, but he held on. “Let me go! Let me the fuck go!” she yelled, voice cracking in pieces.
He tightened his arms around her, pulling her against him while she kicked and clawed. “Get off me!” she sobbed. “Get off me!”
Her strength gave out. She slumped against him, fists balled weakly against his chest. Her face pressed into his shirt as screams turned to broken cries.
Her thoughts wouldn’t stop racing. She remembered Christian laughing, his arms around her, how he smelled after a shower, how he whispered his plans late at night. He was hers. He’d always been hers. Their love was messy, toxic—but it was theirs. It was good until it wasn’t. And even when it wasn’t, she still wanted him. She always thought she’d have more time to figure it out, to forgive him, to go on and love Cash but still leave Christian whole. Now he was gone.
She pounded her chest with both fists. “I hate you, Christian! I hate you for leaving me!” Her words broke, drowning in tears. “Why would you do this to me? Why would you fucking do this to me?”
Cash rocked her, holding her head tight against him. “Breathe, pretty girl,” he whispered against her ear. She shoved at him weakly, then broke down harder when he didn’t let go.
Hov turned away, wiping his eyes with the back of his hand, but his body shook. Knycole leaned against him, crying quietly now, whispering prayers under her breath.
Noir’s screams faded into sobs, her whole body trembling in Cash’s arms. She clutched his shirt in her fists, shaking her head over and over. “I love you Christian.”
Cash kissed her temple, his own jaw tight. He didn’t speak. He just held her while she fell apart, her grief pouring out until there was nothing left but shaking breaths.
He wasn’t a jealous man. He never needed to be. He knew where he stood in her life, and more importantly, in her heart. Still, hearing her confess her love for another man while falling apart in his arms carved out something deep in him. It didn’t make him weaker. It made him stronger, more certain of the space he wanted to hold in her life.
This was the truth of them all. Hearts tangled in ways that didn’t make sense to the outside world. Love didn’t come neatly wrapped in a bow. It came with pain, with memories that clung too tight, with choices that pulled you in opposite directions. Cash understood it now more than ever.
Tangled hearts weren’t about clean endings or perfect beginnings. They were about the mess in the middle. The hurt, the loyalty, and the losses. Deciding if the love inside all that was still worth fighting for.
CHAPTER 35
The sheetsstill smelled like him.
Not just his cologne. Not just the sweat from those late nights when he’d fall asleep on top of her with his lips still touching her collarbone. She missedhim. The deep, warm scent she’d memorized by accident. The one she used to breathe in on purpose after long days. The scent that made her lean into his chest five years ago at the house party.
She swooned for it back then.
Now it made her stomach twist.
Noir’s eyes fluttered, tangled in Egyptian cotton and pain. Her body barely moved, too weighed down by the grief pressing down on her so hard she couldn’t even sit up.
Sunlight poured in through the tall windows of the bedroom they used to share, but nothing felt warm. She yawned, and mid-breath, a sob caught in her throat and dragged her under.
She covered her face with both hands and cried into the crook of her arm. “Ahhh!”
Five years.
She clawed at her skin. Her senses fought against one another. On one hand she wanted to burn the whole housedown. On the other hand, she wanted to preserve it like a museum for their love.
“Oooo,” she wailed from her gut. Noir could taste the bitterness of his love and his betrayal but she wanted it all in that moment. Her Christian was gone.
They built this life together. This mansion. This routine. This quiet version of forever that wasn’t always pretty but had real love tucked into the corners of it. Even though she was with Cash now—and she knew in her heart shewasin love with him—there was a part of her soul still knotted with Christian’s and it hurt like hell to admit that both could be true.
How was it possible to love and hate Christian? To carry so much love for a person but still feel the weight of everything they did wrong.
She was desperate to force her confused emotions into something tangible. Noir wanted to feel something… needed to feel him one last time. To cuss him out again. To kiss him again. To smile with him again. Just anything. That’s how desperate she was for Christian.
She grabbed her belly, holding it in tightly as another bout of sorrow burst through her like an exorcism. “Ahhh!”
The door burst open. “Baby?” Nakorea rushed to the bed, jumping in to rock Noir like she did when she was a fussy baby. Tears filled her eyes and didn’t wait to fall. They cascaded. “Shhh,” she soothed.
Still, Noir screamed and cried. She didn’t have words, just feelings. Deep rooted emotions. Light and dark memories.
“Mama,” a bubble popped when Noir cried even harder.
