Page 108 of Tangled Hearts
“Who?” Knycole looked over at him confused.
“My ma.”
Knycole turned, surprised. “Really? Were you happy to see her?”
“Hell nah.” A rough chuckle left his throat. “That shit just reminded me of everything I ain’t have.”
She hugged herself. “Yea, I know that feeling.”
“How you forgive Nick?” Rock needed a better understanding of children with toxic parents and how they navigated through their own pain while still loving a parent who wronged them. Knycole was the poster child for that.
She shrugged. “I think I was always gonna forgive him but when he got better and stopped smoking, it came easy. He’s so good with Qua and I love that for my son.”
Rock only nodded because he loved Qua too but it was a sore spot for him.
He looked across the street, where a woman was helping her son out of the backseat of a car. They watched her kiss his forehead before leading him up the porch steps, her arm draped around his shoulders.
“Why you think we wasn’t given that?” Rock asked, nodding toward the scene.
“Given what?”
“That. Love. Hell… mamas.” His voice choked, but he didn’t look away.
Knycole followed his gaze, her throat tightened too because she’d been wondering the same thing for so long. “I’m still trying to figure it out.”
Rock leaned forward, elbows resting on his knees. His thoughts circled everything he never said out loud. He wanted to tell her how abandonment shaped every piece of him, how it made him chase love with closed fists instead of open arms. But he swallowed it down, because vulnerability wasn’t something men like him knew how to live in.
Knycole studied him. In that moment, she saw both the boy who needed his mama and the boy who’d hurt her. She didn’t excuse it, but she understood it.
“One day my heart won’t be so fucked up.” He pushed his hand across his jeans. “One day I’m gonna be able to love with my whole heart. I tried with you.”
Knycole’s hand landed on top of his. “As long as you tried, I’ll never put you down for that. We were babies forced to be adults. You gave me things you didn’t have to give. You loved me as good as you knew how but now we gotta love ourselves. And now you have a daughter and a woman to love.” Admitting Rock had someone other than her was a tough pill to swallow but she’d swallow it whole with water to wash it away. He deserved happiness even if it didn’t include her.
“Who you been talking to?” He smirked.
“Started therapy today.”
He smiled. “I’m proud of you, Knyc. If I never told you, I’m telling you now.”
“And I’m proud of you too Rock. We made something out of nothing.”
“Still making something out of nothing.”
They just sat there, their hearts bleeding out in the silence, knowing this wasn’t reconciliation. It was recognition. Two people who loved hard but couldn’t fix each other.
CHAPTER 26
Hov pulledoff from Nick’s house after dropping Qua off. The whole city had plans on being out at the park since it was a nice cool spring night and he wasn’t going to miss a hood night out. That and Cash was in town so the city wanted to see him.
He’d already gotten an earful from both Cash and Christian about what went down a few weekends ago in the club. He wasn’t picking a side, but he made it clear to both of them that there would be no bloodshed. He had too much love for them to see it all end like that.
As he drove, his mind wandered where it always seemed to land. On Knycole.
Life felt different without her. Not just missing the little back-and-forth arguments, and the late-night laughs. The silence she left behind had weight. He hadn’t realized how much she filled his space until she wasn’t in it anymore. And that shit cut. He was a kid when he first felt what it was like to be empty, when his mama left this world, and he would never forget that hollow sound. The way life felt being so young in an empty house all alone.
Now, with Knycole pulling back, it echoed again.
He understood and respected it, but she was his rib and he needed her at his side. Wanted to drown in her gentle love.
