Page 137 of Waiting for Acceptance
“Futurewhat?”
Guess the news that she won’t hold that title hasn’t reached her yet.
“W-I-F-E,” Lauren says slowly, drawing out each letter, and a chuckle slips from my lips before I can stop it. She rubs my arm with her left hand and Jessica’s eyes fall to her ring. I takeLauren’s hand in mine and kiss it, winking at her before turning back to Jessica.
“Have a lovely day, ladies.” Lauren smirks at her and we walk around them. I’ll let my parents deal with the fallout with the Vanderbilts, seeing as how they’re the ones who started that shit to begin with. I regret ever having anything to do with Jessica, but how was I supposed to know what one summer hookup would turn into my parents thinking we were end game?
No, the woman on my arm who lights up my entire life, she’s it for me. I begin and end with the love we share, and if I were to ever lose that, I am convinced I would lose myself. She taught me that I am capable of loving and being loved for exactly who I am. The good, the dark, and the terrible. Because the right person will always look beneath it all, and light you up from the inside out. She’ll always be the sun to me.
CHAPTER 70
LAUREN
SEPTEMBER 5TH - LAUREN’S 30TH BIRTHDAY
“I can’t believe you have waited this long to tell them.” Fitz shakes his head, watching as I anxiously try to fix my hair for the fifth time today. I’m one more attempt away from throwing this brush at the mirror, but God love him, Fitz is giving me the space I need to freak out about this.
“It’s only been two weeks,” I argue weakly. He leans against the doorframe, crossing his arms over his chest.
“And how long has itfelt?” I point my brush at him in a very hostile way.
“Like two eternities. I haven’t wanted to touch my phone or respond to the group chat because I feel like I’m going to vomit every time I say something to them that isn’toh my god I got promoted to COO of the company I’ll one day OWN, and OH YEAH, we’re moving to New York!” My heart starts to beat erratically in my chest.
“Sweetheart, you need to breathe or you’re not going to make it to your party.” Tears well in my eyes and I sigh as my shoulders drop.
“What if this is my last birthday with them?” My voice betrays me, cracking as Fitz walks over to wrap his arms around me.
“Baby—”
“What if everyone is too busy raising the babies I’ll never get to see, or running bars, and veteran centers, and we only see each other once a year at Christmas? Or worse! What if our Christmas traditions end because I move a thousand miles away?” He strokes my back, trying to calm me down, but how can I calm down? When I’m on the verge of a panic attack over leaving the people who have been the only true family I’ve ever known. “I won’t get to take Hendrix on Auntie Lauren dates anymore, or do tea parties with Cece, wearing crownsmuchtoo small for my head. I won’t get to hear Poe say his first words or get to watch Shane and Max’s new baby grow up. What if I can’t do this without them?” The reason I’ve waited so long to even tell them about the move is because I’m scared I’ll chicken out when the truth is finally out there and not want to go.
“You and I both know you won’t have to do this without them. You guys will talk all the time, you’ll FaceTime and send so many pictures and voice notes that it’ll be like they’re right there with you. You will absolutely be keeping your Christmas traditions because I need to be a part of atleastone of them. You’ll have a jet you can take any time you miss them, and you can fly them out to us whenever their schedules allow. I know how hard this is going to be for you, but I’m going to be right by your side—tonight and for the rest of our lives. I know you’ll miss your life in Tennessee, but I swear to you, Trouble, I will do everything I can to give you a life you’ll love in New York.” I feel myself relax at his words. That’s how I know he’s right for me. Because it won’t be my friends that I call first when something happens, good or bad, Fitz will be. I’llalwaysneed my best friends in my life, but Fitz is the missing piece I was alwaystrying to fill with someone or something else. I look up at Fitz, as he runs his fingers through my hair, and I smile. “I love you. Thank you for letting me freak out.”
“I love you too. I’ll always let you feel whatever you need to, and be right here to calm you down when it’s needed.” He kisses my forehead and I let out a sigh of relief, then push off him to face the mirror.
“I don’t know why you let me cry after I did my full face of makeup though.” He chuckles at me and I smile back, salvaging what I can of my makeup. Someone knocks at the door and we both look at each other in confusion.
“Are you expecting someone?” he asks, but I shake my head. “I’ll see who it is.” Ginny jumps up on the counter next to me and I take a deep breath, petting between her ears before grabbing a Q-tip to get the mascara from under my eyes.
“Sweetheart?” I spin to face a troubled-looking Fitz.
“Yeah?”
“Your mom is here.” My heart drops into my stomach and I freeze.
“What? Why?” I whisper, unsure if he let her in or not.
He shrugs. “She just said she needed to see you.” My mouth pops open a few times as I think, then when I can’t think of a reasonable explanation for not seeing her, I nod and we walk together into the living room. When I see her standing in the doorway I’m not sure how to feel. I’m not as nervous or anxious as I used to be when she would visit, waiting for the impending jabs at my life or my home, instead, I’m just…curious.
“Lauren.” She smiles and it surprises me. “Thank you for seeing me, sweetie.”
“Is everything okay?”
“Yes, everything is fine…” she stops herself, shaking her head. “Well, I suppose that’s a lie, isn’t it? Everything isn’t fine.” She walks further into the house, no longer waiting for aninvitation to do so. She sets her purse on the counter and takes a deep breath, squaring her shoulders as I’ve done so many times when I need a boost of confidence. “I came here to apologize to you, Lauren. For the way things ended the last time we saw each other, and for every single thing that your father and I did or said that led up to that point.”
I think I’m hallucinating.
I look at Fitz, trying to figure out if this is really happening, and he wraps an arm around my waist, silently supporting me like he always does.
