Page 116 of Waiting for Acceptance
“No, nothere, at the tree. I mean. You and me. What arewedoing?” I swallow hard, waiting for the bomb to drop. “I mean, you come to my house, asking me to be your girlfriend for a year, with no other details, just a blind agreement. What happens when you move back to New York next month? What happens when the year is up? Does all of this just…end? If so, why not just end it now? Because I don’t know if I can just be a parental distraction anymore.” I feel my heart constricting in my chest.
“Is that what you want? You want all of this to end now?” Her eyes fill with tears almost immediately and I see her head begin to shake.
“Why did you bring me here?” The pain on her face almost breaks me and I know I can’t wait for her to tell me what she wants. She’s guarding her heart, but I need her to know she doesn’t have to. Not from me.
“Because—” I take a deep breath, gathering my courage. “Because I want to carve my initials into that tree. I want them to be right below yours and circled with a heart. I want them to be here in fifty-five years when we’re old and gray, just like Gran and Pops, and I want to be dancing in the kitchen with you as sickeningly in love with you as I am right now.”
“What?” she chokes out, as the first tear falls from her pretty blue eyes.
“I love you, Lauren Long. I’m so in love with you it fucking hurts sometimes. I can’t sleep if it’s not next to you. I think of nothing but you when we aren’t together. I crave your touch and to see your eyes roll, whether it’satme orforme. I love your attitude and the way you love your friends. I love that you made me feel special on my birthday, and have made me feel just asimportant every day since then. I love every single thing about you.”
“So it…it wasn’t all fake?” The crack in her voice makes me want to hold her until she can feel just how real my love for her is.
“Sweetheart, I could never fake the way I feel about you. This may have started as a favor or an agreement, or whatever the hell you want to call it. But it’s real. You can’t tell me you don’t feel the same way. Please tell me you feel the same way.”
She takes in a shaky breath, her bottom lip quivering. “I do. I feel the same way.” More tears fall from her eyes and she smiles through them, my heart freaking soaring when she reaches up and caresses my cheek. “I love you, Vince. I love you so much.” I wrap my arms around her, picking her up off the ground as she grabs my face and pulls my lips to hers.
I’ve kissed her in every single way imaginable—soft and slow, firm and needy, but this time when I kiss her, I kiss her like she’s mine.
Reallymine.
I savor every moment, putting her feet back on the ground so my hands can caress her face, arms, and hips. I’m scared that if I let go, she’ll disappear. That I’ll suddenly wake up and it’ll all have been a dream.
I press my forehead to hers, still trying to catch my breath. “I’ve wanted to tell you this so many times, Trouble. You have no idea how it’s been killing me to keep it in.”
“Well what the hell were you waiting for?” she laughs through her tears, and I take her face in my hands, feeling my heart open even more for her while I get ready to bare my soul.
“I’ve been waiting for acceptance for so long, from so many people in my life, that I guess I wanted to know that you’d accept me for who I really am. Every single part of me. Not just the rich, real estate empire heir, but the guy who herds cattle and danceswith his Grandma in the kitchen with dirt on his boots. I’ve come so close to telling you so many times, baby. But I needed you to know this part of me first. That’s why I brought you here, to make sure you could love every part of me.”
“Vincent Fitzgerald. What on earth ever made you think I wouldn’t love and accept this part of you?” She hits me in the chest and I laugh. “I love you even more, seeing how happy you are out here. I know the real you, Vince. No ranch or real estate office is going to change my mind about that.”
“You’re perfect, you know that?”
She smiles up at me. “Carve our initials in the tree, Vince.”
CHAPTER 59
LAUREN
I’m convinced that this will forever be my new favorite moment. I’ve had a lot of memorable ones in life, but none of my favorite ones have ever involved something directly happening tome. Most of the best moments in my life were me being happy about things happening to my friends—my self-proclaimed sisters. But this moment? This one's for me and Fitz. We lay under the giant oak tree, staring at the initials Fitz carved into it, LL + VF with a heart surrounding them, while he holds me close to his chest. I can hear his heart beating wildly and it makes me giggle.
“I would have thought your heart rate would have slowed down by now, but it sounds like a rabbit thumping his foot against my ear.” I look up and see him smile down at me, my own heart picking up speed at the sight.
“Well, I’m a little anxious I’ll wake up and this will all have been a dream. I’m just holding on for as long as I can.” I sit up on my elbow to face him, running my fingers gently along his cheekbone.
“You can hold me as tight as you need to, but even if you let go, I’ll still be right here.” He wraps his hand around the back of my neck, pulling me down to kiss me. The leaves rustlefrom the summer breeze blowing through, making this moment even more perfect than it already was. We stay out here a while, silently enjoying the moment—ourmoment. Shadow Hill Ranch might just go down as my favorite place in the world—especially if I’m here in the arms of the man who gave me the one thing I was always so scared to want. The nauseating kind of love.
“So…is this why your only tattoo is a bull?” I ask, making his chest shake with laughter.
“Yeah. This would be why.” I nod my understanding, then he sits up, pulling me with him, and turns me to face him.
“You finally going to tell me about why you memorized every state bird and flower?”
My mouth pops open to argue but I see the look in his eye and I know I won’t win this one, no matter how hard I try. I let out a defeated sigh. “Someone in my class called me dumb. I foolishly believed them and wanted to learn something no one in our grade had learned yet. So, I memorized the state birds and flowers. At the time it felt like very powerful information.”
I expect him to laugh, but the frown on his face is serious. “Who called you dumb? I’ll kick their ass.”
I have to think of the name for a minute before I can recall it. “Leslie Winkleman.”
