Page 91 of Falling Backwards
As he starts looking around us, I wonder if he’s really going to help me shop instead of hunt down the stuff he needs for himself.Surely not even a piece of clothing related to boobs is so interesting to him?It’s not like I’ll be wearing the sports bra around him without a shirt over it.
But now he’s pointing out a pair of shimmery dark green leggings and saying, “Those would look awesome on you too,” and he seems genuine in his commitment.
So…okay, then, indeed.
And anyway, the point of us going places togetherisfor him to be close to me.It wouldn’t help me feel safe if Kyle showed up while I was over here and Luke was out of sight looking at guy clothes.
Plus, now that he knows what I’m shopping for, this part of the trip can go a bit quicker.
He meanders away and I follow him, deciding to grab my size in the shimmery leggings; in truth, I like them very much.
While we shuffle through this area, Luke wants to know more about HIIT workouts, so I describe the video I’ve been going along with.I didn’t know anything about those kinds of routines before I decided to start exercising, so I get how intrigued he is by the way it all works.
“So,” he says from next to me, “you do whatever the particular move is, like a variation of a jumping jack, for whatever length of time—thirty seconds, forty seconds—and then you stop and take a short break before moving on to the next thing.”
I nod and inspect a sports bra that looks promising.“Right.”
“And you can do an easier version of it if the regular is too hard?”
“Right.That way, even if you’re new or getting over an injury or whatever, you’re still getting your heart rate up during the intervals.”
“Mmm.And that’s how you get the benefits of exercise: you get your heart rate up.”
I nod again and collect two different sizes of this bra.I don’t love the idea of having to get a fitting room, but it’d be stupid not to ascertain—
A hand goes down my back, following the fall of my hair over my sweater.I lose both my train of thought and my breath.
“Come to me,” Luke says.
Oh, God, does he see Kyle?
My pulse freaks out at the thought—but its next stumble is from relief over the realization that a lady is trying to pass us in the narrow space between these two racks.With a weak smile of apology to her, I shift close to Luke, whose strong hand is now curved into my waist, tugging me just out of the way.
It’s difficult to wrap my mind around how it feels.
Especially since he doesn’t stop touching me after the lady is gone, like much of me expects him to.
“Sounds more fun than running,” he says.
I look to his chest, which is so close and is quite nicely covered by a thermal shirt.“What?”I ask weakly.
“A HIIT workout.”
Oh.Our conversation.
I nod, nod, nod.“Yeah, it’s—it’s a good place to start, I think.It seems to be advantageous.”
I look back to the bras, trying to catch my breath while swiftly collecting sizes in a second color, even though it’s not necessary to try on more than one.
But he’s still touching me, moving his hand now to some of the hair draped over my shoulder.It’s impossible not to be distracted by it.
“Am I bothering you?”comes his lowered voice.
It takes me a second to notice the question is sincere.Not coy, not challenging.
So I speak honestly: “No.”
I mean, these touches are new for us as adults.They’re strange in their way.And the parts of my brain that haven’t forgotten about the rift between us feel stung by his perfect imitations of affection.
