Page 75 of Falling Backwards
Momentarily, a weird look comes onto her face.She eyes me and smooths her hands down the sides of her shirt, then smooths at them again.
The next shift in her expression makes me think she’s steeling herself.
“I’ve, uh…been trying to exercise,” she divulges.“Not just because of how I think I look, but also because of—of how I feel.Even though it did make me self-conscious to see Marcus’s new girlfriend, that wasn’t the first time I was uncomfortable.I’ve felt that way for kind of a long time.So I decided to do something about it instead of…not.”
I nod slowly while I absorb this.
To be honest, though I do already think highly of her body, I have to commend her for taking care of herselfforherself, whatever that may entail.Just because she looks good to me doesn’t mean she feels good to herself, and like I’ve been saying, her being comfortable matters.It matters for all of us.If she’s taking healthy steps towards changing what she doesn’t like, that’s great.
“You think I’m stupid?”she asks.
I realize I haven’t responded out loud yet.“No, not at all.That’s cool.I’ve been trying to exercise lately too.”I tsk.“Well, I’ve gone for two runs, but both of them were nightmares, so to tell the whole truth, I gave up fast.”
Her eyes lighten with understanding.“Oh.I don’t blame you.I’ve been doing HIIT workouts and they’re really hard too.”As she pauses, curiosity comes up.“Why haveyoubeen exercising?”
This time, the looks she drifts over me is…
…appreciative?
Am I imagining that?
“You seem to be in great shape,” she mumbles.
No, I’m not imagining anything.She thinks I look good right back.
She’s still attracted to me too.
I don’t know what to make of that.
It doesn’t really matter, though, so I do my best to shake it off with a stretching roll of my shoulders.“Well, I think the same about you, but like you said, it’s just something I’ve felt an urge for.Exercise sounded good and it’s a healthy thing to do, so I went for it.”
“Oh.Yeah, of—of c—”
Sudden noise from somewhere on the couch makes us jump.We seem to realize at the same time that it’s a cell phone ringing; Maggie goes over and grabs it.
“Hold on, Luke,” she requests before answering.“Hello?”After a moment: “Hi, Mr.Polk.”
The owner of Lucent.Wonder what he wants.
Maggie frowns sympathetically.“Oh….That’s terrible.Yes, I can get there a little sooner.”
A shift pick-up, sounds like.
I’d intended to compare our work schedules for today so we can figure out a carpool plan.I go in at four, so I hoped she’d be going then or before then.Guess I’m about to find out.
She’s off the call in no time and telling me, “Well, I was supposed to clock in at three, but Mr.Polk needs me as soon as possible.Val is heading home sick and she was the only hostess.”
Nice.
I mean, for our purposes.Not for Val.
“All right,” I say.“I’ll drive you over there when you’re ready.”
She takes a measured breath as she looks at me.
Earlier, she seemed relieved and reluctant about our plan.Now she seems to be sharing in a little bit of my resolve.
“Thank you for doing this,” she says.“Truly.”
