Page 64 of Falling Backwards
But he probably wouldn’t help anyway.Not again.
He did what I asked him to do.He had a temporary job, and he did it, and he told me his thoughts on informing the police, and all of that was incredibly generous of him.If I keep coming to him with this, Iwillbe an imposition.
We are not on good enough terms for him to want to involve himself any further.
Feeling overwhelmed by that knowledge and my thoughts about him and my roiling anxiety, I give in to the urge to quietly cry.
I’m tired.I want to rest, not be afraid.
I wish I weren’t by myself.
But as quickly as I’ve dampened my hair and pillow with tears, I think again about my friends.
I’m notreallyby myself.
It’s not feasible for Luke to be of any help to me, but I could text my group chat with the girls and ask if one of them made the noise I heard.Could say I’m scared.
I sigh, then sniffle thickly and locate my phone.
Not even a minute has passed before my message gets answered:
JOY:Oh, my love :( Yes, it was me getting some water.I’m so sorry I scared you!Want me to come sleep in there with you?
It’s insane how quickly that sends relief barreling through me.
Suddenly breathing easier, I close my wet eyes in a long blink.With another, lighter sigh, I shake my head at myself, then smile at her sweet offer.
ME:Oh, whew.God.I really had myself freaked out.Don’t be sorry, but yes, I’d love to not be alone
I get my lamp turned on low.In no time, one of my sisters from another mister is coming to my rescue, armed with her own pillow and an apologetic glass of water she got just for me.
She’s so thoughtful it actually makes me laugh a little.
“Thank you, Joyful,” I whisper.
“No need for thanks,” she whispers back.“I love you!”
“I love you more.”
“Nuh uh!”
We giggle while she gets comfortable on the other side of my bed.I take a sip of the refreshing water, then turn off the lamp and get comfortable again too.
She says, “Don’t get spooked if Emma reads our messages and comes to join the Keep Maggie Comfy sleepover.”
Now I grin and reply, “Fair warning,” because it is.
Joy giggles again.
I have the best friends in the entire world.
We both go quiet.
It’s not long at all before I’m sinking back into peace, caring a little less about my nightmare…
…although a flush does reach all the way into my bone marrow over how quickly my brain jumped to missing being near Luke.
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