Page 59 of Falling Backwards
My stomach swoops hard.
“…have to do what we have to do, and that’s tonotbe risky.”Joy sighs.“So let’s just try to carry on, right?Keep minding our business and hoping he’ll get the picture?”
Emma grumbles, but she nods.
Paxton suggests, “How about we order some snacks?Being hangry will only make things worse, eh?”
Joy is instantly on board.After a moment, Emma agrees and grabs the skinny menu book in the middle of the table.With a wry chuckle, she says, “Let’s get something molten hot in case I decide I need to throw it in ol’ dude’s face.”The other two laugh.
I’m on board with the food idea, too, in a way.Mostly my mind is stuck on Luke, who has just murmured my name where no one else could hear.
My stomach swoops again over his tone, though I can’t guess whether he’s going to say something normal to me or discreetly keep arguing about the straw thing.
With my gaze still slanted down to his hand, I murmur back, “What?”
He doesn’t answer right away.
Actually, he doesn’t answer even after many moments.
He doesn’t do anything at all.
I know he’s got something on his mind, though.Not only did he start this low conversation, but some sort of tension is touching the air between us.The intensity of whatever he’s thinking is emanating from him—I don’t have to know what exactly it is to be aware of that.
I get ready to press him right as he says, “Nevermind.”
My mouth has just opened, so I close it again.I move my eyes up to his face.He’s staring at the table, his brow furrowed.
“Nevermind,” he repeats.His hand between our thighs moves onto his knee, and his other hand reaches for the menu our friends have just set down.“You hungry?I like the pretzel bites with beer cheese dip.”
I nod.“Yeah.So do I.”
For a second, I think he’s exhaled a small laugh through his nose, but his expression doesn’t seem amused.
Whatever, I guess.I don’t know why he’d find that funny anyway.
I add, “If we’re getting pretzels, I need a side of mustard too.”
“Mustard.”He sounds mildly curious.“Okay.Whatever you want.”
Curious, indeed.His tone isn’t sarcastic or begrudging.
And I have to say that fact calms me a little bit more.Calms me in that weird way his presence has for the last short while.
Somehow, it even brings up the urge to make a joke.
On one hand, I want to ignore it because joking with Luke isn’t something I do anymore.Then again…well, the bickering we were doing a minute ago was kind of stupid, wasn’t it?
A lot of the bickering we do is stupid,something in me whispers.
I clear my throat, clear that thought away, and try to sound neither awkward nor derisive as I ask, “Whatever I want, unless what I want is to chew on my straw?”
The words come out as lightly as they were supposed to.
Luke turns his eyes right onto mine, now curiousandsurprised.
My face feels too warm for me to hold his gaze for long.I turn my attention to my drink and carefully pick it up, trying not to let my hands shake from shyness and from how I’m certain Kyle is also staring at me again.Ignoring the straw altogether, I sip from the glass.
“Look atyou,” Luke remarks, once again where only I can hear.
