Page 45 of Falling Backwards
A frustrating notion.
I straighten up and deal with the new video that has automatically started playing.No, sir, Mr.Muscles, I do not want to join you in your heavy-weight-lifting routine.
I’ve just turned the TV off when my phone starts vibrating on the coffee table.I try not to outright drop the remote to the table, too, in my exhaustion.
But exhaustion aside, I can’t help breaking into a smile when I see my mom is calling.
I answer with, “Hi, Mama.”
“Hiiii, my love!”she all but sings into my ear.“Oh, it’s so good to hear your voice!I know we text every couple days, but it’s just not the same as hearing your voice!”
I giggle and nod even though she can’t see me.“I know!I miss your voice too.And all the rest of you.”
The sound she makes tells me she’s frowning affectionately.I’d bet she’s even pressing a hand to her heart.
I sigh to her, “I wish I could hug you.”
She sighs back.“So do I.How are you, honey?What’s new?”
I share the news of my exercise endeavor, though I don’t feel like getting into my motive with her either.She’s instantly supportive—she always approves of the search for happiness—and as much as I appreciate that, I also appreciate the idea she comes up with when I tell her how hard these workouts are.She suggests doing HIIT every other day and doing something easier on the days in between, like going for a jog or trying yoga.
“Maybe Emma and Joy would join in on yoga,” she adds.“You know, if you had your heart set on not exercising alone?You said they gave up on HIIT, but I think yoga would be a lot different.”
“Yeah, maybe,” I say.“I’m kind of liking the idea of outdoor walks, though.”
“They are nice, aren’t they?”
“Yep.”Honestly, I’m so sweaty from my HIIT workout, I feel like my weary muscles would let it slide if I decided to go to the park and walk in the cold.
“Speaking of the girls,” she says, “what are you all doing for Thanksgiving?I’m so sorry again that your dad and I won’t get to see you!”
Even though her mention of it makes me miss them that much more, I have to smile.“Mama, don’t be sorry.It’s so special that you get to go on a cruise for your anniversary.I’m happy for you both.”
“Aw, honey.”Again with me being sure she’s got an affectionate look on her face.
“Besides, I’ll see you at Christmas!”
“True….”
“And since I have to work the days before and after Thanksgiving, I’ll be thinking of you and Daddy already.”
She says, “Aw,” again.“I love Lucent.”Then she tsks.“You’re only off work the day of, huh?”
“Yeah.I’m not upset about it, though.Lucent is our place.”
“Itisour place.Not a bad one to be in around the holidays, I guess, since it’s pretty much a part of our family.”
“Exactly what I was thinking.”After a beat, I add, “I don’t know what Emma and Joy have planned.I expect Joy will have to work that Friday.”
“Oh, probably, if she’s still at that cute little clothing store.”
“She is.And today is her birthday, by the way!”
My mom gasps.“Iknewtoday’s date looked important for some reason!Tell her how much we love her and that we wish her a happy birthday!Are you three going out to eat or anything?”
I tell her about the plan to go to Merritt’s—it turned out that’s what Joy landed on the other day while I was in the Mellow Burger bathroom.
As excited as I am, I find myself cringing since both Mellow Burger and Merritt’s remind me of Kyle.God, I still can’t believe he was waiting for me after work last night.That was so damn creepy.My friends agreed when I got home and told them—they hugged me and we talked about how afraid I was both at the time and after the fact, when my anxious imagination took its own toll.We hope nothing like that encounter will happen again.
