Page 38 of Falling Backwards
He dips his head in kind, then points towards the restaurant.“Sure thing, Maggie.Everything else going well out there?”
“As far as I know.”
“Perfect!”
He doesn’t shoo me away since he’s not the type, but I decide I’m ready to excuse myself anyway.I don’t feel the need to tell him specifics about Kyle; I’m satisfied just to know there isn’t room for anyone new on our staff.I thank him for his time and then leave him to his work, feeling lighter than I did before.
As for my guilt, I bat it away by acknowledging that while he may have been off about my motive, what he said brings about a good point.If anyone else comes around wanting a job, I’ll be able to save them some time by telling them we aren’t hiring.
In the breakroom, I check two cabinets before I find the ibuprofen.I collect a couple from the bottle and start to leave again, then realize I forgot to ask if Luke has some water to drink behind the bar.Just in case he doesn’t, I double back and grab a mini bottle from the refrigerator.
And even though I do feel better about the Kyle thing, an odd shakiness stirs in me as I make my way out into the restaurant.
It feels weird to be doing something nice for Luke.Doubly weird that he didn’t fight me on it like a kid fighting a much-needed nap.
We haven’t been nice to each other in a long time.
Still, he can’t hide his relief when I show up at the end of the bar, and I know the same would be true for me if I were in his shoes.So at least for now, I’m glad I could help.
What I’mnot, it seems, is able to meet his eyes.The moment he looks up to mine from my extended hand, I look down and focus on getting the pills safely from my fingers to his palm.I don’t want to set them on the bar top with the water bottle or drop them on the floor…or touch him unnecessarily after the thoughts I’ve had about him today.
He mumbles, “I appreciate it.”
I nod, not knowing if he’s grudgingly thanking me or if he’s just thinking about feeling better soon.
But keeping my eyes off his face means they end up on his body because it’s right in front of me.Eyeing his body makes me freshly aware of how he’s not as skinny as he was in high school, and it’s in a way that looks good—there’s no ignoring that he looksstupidlygood even in the all-black pants, button-down shirt, suspenders, and tie he has to wear for work.And thinking about that has me remembering how stupidly I feel about my own body these days.
Then, before I can stop it, I’m recalling how gently he kissed me on that cloudy day at the Water Rocks, with the world on pause around us except for the breeze sifting through our hair.
He asked me to be his girlfriend right after that.My breathless yes had come so easily.
I felt perfect.
Right now, so quick is the rush of chill bumps over me that it’s a wonder I don’t shiver where he can see.
Okay, snap out of this.
“You’re welcome,” I finally mumble back to him.Then, rubbing my shaky hands on my hips and willing away the new flutter in my stomach, I turn and go back to the hostess stand.
But hey, while I’m not used to whatever I’m currently feeling because of him, I can definitely get used to my happy gratitude over not having to worry about Kyle working here too.
Hopefully he won’t come by very often just to see me….
And hopefully the ibuprofen won’t help Luke so much that he promptly goes back to being his typical self.
It’s nice to not be bothered.
L U K E
If I had been asked to write down the top five things I thought would improve how shittily my day was going, Maggie wouldn’t have been on the list.
In fact, last night when I finally got to hang with Paxton, I followed up the story of our breakroom argument with, “I can’t stand Maggie Moss.”
That conversation hadn’t gone as I anticipated either, though, because his response was, “Yeah, you can.”
I raised my eyebrows so high I thought they’d leave my face.
