Page 272 of Falling Backwards
We can’t wait either.
—
Well, IthoughtI couldn’t wait to have tons of fun with everyone.
As it has turned out, over the last hour and a half, I’ve had the most fun with Maggie.
Not that Paxton, Emma, and Joy aren’t being lively or that the bar isn’t delivering on a festive night.Conversations and laughter have been abundant, and the Merritts brought fun little holiday-themed games and crafts to all the tables.Christmas songs have played, popular versions mixed in with ones that are fresher and more upbeat and interesting—some even remixed—by artists of all kinds, which has helped the mind-numbing familiarity of them feel a lot less intense.
Over and over again, though, Maggie and I have been drawn to each other.I’d say we keep getting distracted by each other, but that’s not accurate; rather, we keep briefly being distracted byeverything elsebefore coming back together, picking back up on our own chats and laughs.
Looks.
Touches.
None of it has been enough to isolate us from the others.Ithasallbeen enough to make me realize as the evening has grown louder and more packed with people, and as the warmth of this room has risen bit by bit, and as our friends have gotten ahead of us on partying because she and I have only had one drink, that I….I’ve realized I….
My skin tingles from Maggie’s thumb gently swiping back and forth over my hand.
I go from absently staring at our cleared pretzel-bites plate to looking at where our fingers are entwined on my thigh.Then I slip my gaze up over the still-awe-inspiring fabric of her dress, the elegantly swirling pattern on which hasn’t stopped being tempting to my fingertips.I want like a motherfucker to trace all those flourishes over her, slowly, delicately—trace them until she’s breathless and blushing and begging me to do it to her bare skin instead.
That desire makesmefeel breathless.
All my desires for her do.
I try not to let it show as my eyes finally reach her face, but I feel like I’ve been caught when I find her already looking at me.
Strangely, she looks shy, like she feels caught as well.
I wonder why.
I want to know why.
Our friends explode into laughter about something, startling us out of our little moment.Then a nearby table does the same thing even more loudly—some of those peopleshriek-laugh—and Maggie cringes outwardly just as I do inwardly.
Paxton, Emma, and Joy don’t seem to notice.They’re still talking over each other in their chaotic conversation.A couple minutes ago, it was about some movie Maggie and I have never seen, and now it seems to be about dumb shit they’ve done while drunk.
I suspect we could contribute nicely to that topic, but I don’t have much interest in trying to.And I watch her tune in to them for a second, then smile slightly, her shoulders moving with a single laugh too quiet to hear, before turning her attention back to me.
The shift in her eyes is so, so obvious.
Just as she is far more compelling to me than the night out we planned on having, I am far more compelling to her.
“Loud,” she says.“Loud in here.”
I nod.“It’s all kind of a lot.”
She nods, too, right as Paxton makes a loud announcement, indeed: “Let’s do some shots!”
We look over and see Joy raising the roof.Emma finishes drinking some water and then says, “Bring it on!”
Paxton points at us.“You two gonna have one with us?”
Emma also points, eyebrows lifting.“Y’all gotta catch up!You’ve only had one drink!”
Now Joy says, “Yessss!Maggie, didn’t you wanna try the Sugar Plum Fairy thing?”
Hm.Shots?No, thanks.I know the things that aren’t feeling very fun to me tonight might feel different if I were on the same level as the others, but I don’t want that.I’m not into it like I expected to be.Still, there are things on the holiday menu that Maggie and I were interested in, so if she’s still interested, I am too.
