Page 254 of Falling Backwards
“I believe and forgive you too.”
His words settle softly on the air.
We both seem to take the same full, clear breath.
And it’s…real.This sweeping peace and equilibrium and….
Warm breath guides a hushed groan against my fingers as their tips drag over Luke’s lips, his hair abandoned.
This adoration.So clearly real.
My other hand slides up to the nape of his neck.Suddenly, my lower back is wrapped in one of his arms—he urges me to the edge of the big chair, shifting forwards himself until he’s kneeling right between my legs, bringing my body against his.Breathless, I drop my fingers from his lips to his shoulder and I try to move my hurt knee even farther out of the way as I clutch him closer—asheclutchesmecloser, aswe—
“Please kiss me,” I barely get out.
His hand on my face swoops around into my hair.Our mouths meet in a fervent rush, pressing firmly and flawlessly together.
I actually don’t know if he kissed me or if I kissed him.But we’re damn sure kissingeach othernow.
And I can’t believe how good it feels.
I’ve been close to bursting from us finally talking about what happened in high school—I’ve been weak in the lungs, dizzied, almost sick even as I’ve been run through with undeniable love for him.I didn’t think I had room for anything else.But this kiss, this embrace, this physical show of us still wanting each other and of us still belonging together after facing everything we were afraid of…the vulnerability of it hasn’t only shouldered in amongst everything else.It’s also taking over.And as it does, it changes all that anxious weight into sweet happiness and longing.Once and for all, I throw out the parts of my brain that have been lurking around our wounds so the parts that crave healing can soar free.
We melt away into parting lips and touching tongues, and into the warm strength of his back beneath the palm I’ve snuck into his shirt, and into my not-hurt leg wrapping around him with the help of his hand.
Until my hips go forwards on him and it moves my other knee wrong somehow, stirring a jolt of pain and pulling me out of the kiss.I whimper and then groan and try to soothe the discomfort with a little more shifting while I go back to Luke’s mouth.
He makes a low, husky sound.His hold on my leg slides firmly to just below my ass, carefully urging me even tighter against him, nearly getting a shiver out of me.He gives my bottom lip a tug of a kiss, then moves to my jaw.
“If you weren’t hurt,” comes his equally low voice, tinged with breathlessness, “I don’t think I could keep from lying you back and devouring you right here and now.”
His fingertips move to brush just between my thighs and I barely stifle a gasp, but an obvious shiver does claim me now, inching me closer to him still.Then there’s heat whispering at where his body is pressed against the center of me, and it worsens with the gentle rock of him there and how his hair feels in my fumbling fingers.With my knee acting up, it’s only in flickers that I’m able to imagine his mouth being where those fingertips are instead of on my face—I’ve never had or wanted that before, butIsuddenlywant it with him—and then as I remember us being in his bed, those flickers bring imaginings of more, ofall.
Nothing makes me wish harder that I didn’t have this stupid injury.
Not wanting to be able to walk and work without wincing.Not wanting to sleep comfortably.Not even wanting to get back to exercising.
I don’t know what to do other than nod big and stamp my lips to his cheek once, twice, my exhalation stumbling.His sigh is the same as he lowers my leg from around himself and just hugs me; he kisses my cheek, too, slowly, and we melt together in a different way from a minute ago.
Like coming home.
I remember this, too, from when we were in his bed: us agreeing that being with each other is like coming home.
For a few moments, I try to compose my breathing, my heart rate.Then I tell him, “I missed you.Even though it was only a day.”
“Doesn’t matter that it was only a day.I missed you too.”His face drops to the crook of my neck and he inhales there.“Can you stay?Or do you need to go back home?”
“Iamhome.”
Although I didn’t mean to let that out, I can’t manage more than a slight blush—not when Luke hugs me harder.
“Damn right,” he whispers.
I nuzzle his neck in return and add in kind, “But yes, I can stay.”For the first time since I walked up the stairs outside, I really think about Emma and Joy.“I just have to tell my friends.They’ve been down in Emma’s car.”
Our hugging slips to an end, and I see the surprise on Luke’s face.“Have they really?”
“Yeah.They knew I was nervous and everything, so they came with me.”I shrug.“Plus, even though we haven’t seen Kyle in a long time, they didn’t want me to go anywhere alone.”
