Page 217 of Falling Backwards
“I say to you, with all the respect and affection my being can hold, that what you told me was some dumb shit.”
She scoffs and cuts a look along me.“Excuse me?”
I don’t back down.“I know you love it, so don’t shy away from it.You say it won’t look good on you, but you can’t know that for sure.Plus, you’re being too hard on yourself.In my head, I can see you wearing that and it’s cool as hell.”
Her scoff is quieter this time.We stop next to the mannequin and she looks at it, then at me.“You’re….Listen, that’s a sweet thing for you to say, but this ismybody.You don’t know howIfeel.”
I open my mouth to counter, then sigh.She’s right.She’s really right.
Still, I gently tell her what I was thinking earlier.“Yeah, those are facts.But what you said about people deserving to wear what they likeexceptfor you?That doesn’t make any sense.You deserve to flaunt whatever style you damn well please, just like everyone else does.”
She looks like she wants to argue again.
She also looks like she hadn’t thought of it my way before.
I’m gentle in raising my eyebrows at her too.“Right?”I murmur.
Her gaze drifts over my face, and as it does, I see vulnerability coming up in it.I catch the slip of her hands over her waist.
She speaks so lightly I only barely hear her: “I…babe, I can’t pull it off yet.”
Love being called‘babe’by her.Do not love the‘can’t’or the implication that she has to slim up before relaxing about wearing what she wants.She thinks she can’t wear what she wantsyet.
I reach out and take her hands in mine, drawing them off her waist.She doesn’t resist, which is encouraging.
But she goes on with, “I know I won’t look good in that shirt.Maybe in your imagination, but not in real life.”
I shake my head.“No, you don’t know that.Youthinkthat.Youworrythat.And it’s a waste of your energy.Do what makes you happy, Maggie.Don’t overthink it or save it for another day, just go for it.Tell the world and your darker thoughts to fuck off becauseyouwanna be happyright now.”
Once again, her expression tells me she’s torn on how to respond.
Unlike before, she doesn’t end up refusing again, only says, “I—I’ll think about it.”
Relief touches me.I sigh into a smile.“Awesome.And I’m not saying that just because I like the shirt too.I do wanna see you in it, but….”
A different kind of relief comes to me when she gives me a little smile of her own.
“I know,” she assures me.“I know it’s not just that.You…” she squeezes my hands, “…you care about me.”
Feels like my insides soften along with her gaze.
I squeeze her hands in return.“Yeah, I do,” I confirm.
Her little smile grows.
We resume our walk to the checkout area.She asks what I think sounds good for lunch and we start talking about that.I slip into another one of my usual checks that Kyle isn’t around, and it feels great to still see no sign of him—man, today’s trip to this store has been so different from that one we made weeks ago when he was still a glaring issue.Back then, me being with her made her feel safer, but she was still easy to rattle.This time, though, she’shappywith me, not just safer; she still has something weighing on her mind, but it’s personal, not a dude who didn’t know how to act.
Please let him be acting right this time,I pray.It feels like just maybe he is.Please let that be true.
I don’t know how many times I’ve hoped he would leave Maggie alone, but the longer we go without seeing him or hearing from him, the more I think things with him might havefinallycome to an end.
It makes my mood feel that much brighter.
Not enough to mention Mellow Burger for lunch, though.Maggie was missing their spicy fries just yesterday, so I wish we could swing by and get them for her today, but even in the thick of yesterday’s craving, she still wasn’t comfortable with potentially seeing Kyle there.
While we pay for the dumbbells, I wonder how hard it would be to recreate the fries at home.That would be fun to try, eh?Our other endeavors have gone nicely.
Honestly, by the time we’re walking out of the store, I’m obsessing over the idea.Does Mellow Burger have an ingredients section on their website?Would they have the seasonings for the spicy fries listed on there?If they do, that would make doing them ourselves easy as shit—but if they don’t, we’d have to do some guessing.Or maybe we could look up similar recipes online and tweak them to Maggie’s liking.That would take some trial and error, though, which sounds like it could be disappointing and annoying.And I’ve never tried to make fries from scratch before, but I’d do it if she—
