Page 193 of Falling Backwards
Gotta say, this cake is pretty nice.It doesn’t completely look like some dude with zero experience with baking has been in charge of it.In fact, I finish up and am instantly so proud of my work that I decide to take a picture of it.I dig my phone out of my pocket.
I’m also no photographer, but just in case something happens to this thing on the drive to Mom’s, I’m gonna go ahead and….
My eyes scan over the text message I didn’t realize I’d received.I don’t recognize the number, but before I can recoil from another unwanted interaction from my dad, I see that this isn’t from him.It’s from someone close to him: my stepsister.
I find myself tapping the notification and opening the message in full.
hi luke, it’s wendy.happy thanksgiving!i hope you have a great holiday!and speaking of the holidays…i want to say i really believe it’s time for you to think about putting aside the bad blood between you and dad.holidays are for joy and gratitude, you know?and he’s been upset that you’ve been sour at him for so long, and it’s honestly really sad for me to see.i know you have your reasons, but he’s a great guy and a great dad and i love him so much, and you’re a great guy too, so i just want everyone to get along :) promise me you’ll think about it!enjoy your day!
What…the hell is this?
I stare at the message.
An uncomfortable ache has me realizing I’m clenching my jaw; a ripple of unwelcome heat over me tunes me in to how my pulse has risen.
And despite my attempts to soothe these things, I can’t keep from glancing over and over certain parts of the text, which only makes me feel that much more surprised and angry.
I haven’t talked to Wendy in forever.Why does she think she has any right to tell me what to do about my relationship with my dad?
‘The bad blood between you and dad.’
‘It’s honestly really sad for me to see.’
‘He’s a great guy and a great dad.’
The surprise and anger rumble inside me.
She calls him her dad?
She thinks it’s sad thathe’supset aboutmyactions?
She considers him a great guy and a great…?
I can hear that my breaths have picked up.
Just what kind of bullshit is this?He is not a great guy.If he were one, he wouldn’t have cheated on my mom—twice—and left me in the dust when he eventually lefther.Instead, he would’ve at least respected her enough to divorce her before he went to someone else, and he would’ve thought about me during it all, thought about what I might need or how I might feel.If he were a stand-up guy and a wonderful father, dropping his family like they didn’t matter would’ve been out of the damn question.Marriages end, I get it, it’s fine, but what he did and the way he still acts—like it’s time for me to get over the pain, like I’m being dramatic when really itscarredmethat he—
“Luke?”
I snap my gaze up.
“Is something wrong?”Maggie asks.She’s looking at me with gentle concern.
I open my mouth, ready to let that gentleness summon me into talking.
But then a sting hits some part of me.A sting over the idea of confiding in her.And her invitation to tell her what’s going on sends an actual wave of stress through me because thoughts of her are colliding with thoughts of my dad—of him leaving, damaging teenage me in ways I didn’t even….
Just like that, bad memories of me and Maggie in high school come to my mind.They move through in flickers that feel brief and dragging at once, accompanied by that old sense of betrayal.
He betrayed me.So did she.
A little knot forms in my stomach, cutting into how all the rest of me wants to talk to her.
“Are you okay?”she asks me now, worry creasing her features.
No,resounds through me.
Then, frowning, I remember,Wait, I—I mean yes.When it comes to me and her, the past is the past.Weareokay now.I’mokay now.
