Page 176 of Falling Backwards
My voice is a wisp as I ask, “Real, then?”
He nods and squeezes my hand tightly.“Real.”
I turn my hand away from his chest so I can squeeze back.
Skipping glances over faces become diminishing inches; we draw each other into one more kiss.
Then he says quietly, “Hey, not to change the subject…but I’m sorry he was there.”
The mention of Kyle puts an unpleasant dip in my stomach.
Luke adds, “Are you okay about that?And did you write it down in your log?”
“I did write it down.”I blow a weak raspberry.“I guess I’m okay.It was hard to relax when I was out with the girls afterwards, but….”
The second he releases my hand and drops his from my hair, I miss them like no one would believe.Then one of them is at the small of my back, allowing him to tug me with him as he steps backwards, and a sense of comfort wells up in me alongside the tingle his touch brings.
“Come tell me about it,” he says with warm eyes.“In fact, tell me about the whole rest of your day, ’cause I’m still not sleepy.”He pauses moving.“Unless you are?”
I give in to a smile.There’s no way not to.“Not yet,” I reply.“Thank you.Truly.”
“Nah, no need to thank me.”
Once we’re at my bed, he lets go of me again so he can flop down on it.While he gets comfortable and digs his keys out of his pocket, I spend long moments appreciating how he looks there, all casually strong and inviting and soothing, once again taking up space in a way I didn’t realize could be so damn nice…or so damn attractive.
Then he gives a little brain-lightbulb sort of a gasp and makes me refocus.
“And that reminds me,” he says.“Now that we’re not faking anymore, I can finally give back the thank-you money you forced on me.”
A laugh of surprise leaves me.I clap a hand over my mouth to stifle the rest of my amusement.I’d forgotten about the money.
Even though he’s quiet as he laughs with me, he smiles so much his eyes crinkle at the outer corners.
And, yeah, I’m…happy.
L U K E
The first thing my bleary eyes land on when they open are airy curtains over a daylit window that does not belong to me.
Despite that and my drowsiness, I know where I am, and it’s a place I’m happy to be.
I roll onto my back from my side, rub at my eyes, blink a few times, feel the cool air of the room on my arms because I’m just in my t-shirt now, not my hoodie.Then I look beside me in the bed to where Maggie is curled up and facing me under the edge of the same blanket that’s covering me, her eyes closed and bangs ruffled away from her forehead a little; her scar is in full view, tempting to my fingertips like always.
What a girl.
What a well-spent night—those kisses, our truths, the varied topics of conversation we visited and lighter kisses we shared until we were so tired we fell asleep together.
Together.
We’re together again.Together for real.
This is the most real we’ve ever been.I ended up having true feelings for her when we dated in high school, but we all know that relationship still wasn’t built as strongly as it should’ve been.It’s different this time.It’s better in every way.
I’msoready to move on from what was and throw my arms around what is, what can be.
I was so ready for it yesterday after the thing with Kyle that having to spend time away from her was the strangest form of torture.She wouldn’t stay out of my thoughts or off my lips or hands.I had trouble concentrating on other things, even conversations with Paxton that I was in the middle of.As much as I wanted Maggie to do what she needed to do with her friends, it had been hard to let her go, and the more time we spent apart, the more it felt like my very skin was restricting me, as well as the walls of Pax’s place while we gamed, and the empty air around me once I was at home and waiting for her to be able to call me.It was driving me insane.In fact, by the time she did call, I already knew hearing her voice wasn’t going to be enough.I needed to see her again.I needed to quit holding back and finally tell her I didn’t want to pretend anymore.
Even though I didn’t believe she’d shoot me down, I also didn’t totally rule out that possibility.She and I have been in a delicate place lately.So when I asked if I could come back over here, I was already prepared for her to say no to my confession or to ask me to leave.I knew what I’d say next.I knew the arguments I’d make in favor of us.And I knew that if I had to, I would beg her to give me this chance; if I was with her when I did it, I would literally get on my knees.I would do anything in order to prove myself to her.
