Page 151 of Falling Backwards
JOY:LOL ASSTON
I manage one sleepy little chortle about that, as well as a sense of satisfaction about Bradley remaining nice.I did notice he seemed to click with my friend.For one thing, he wasn’t shy about saying he thinks vibrant hair colors on women are sexy.
Yawning, I put my phone back down.As I start to snuggle up under this blanket again—Luke must’ve gotten it for me—I notice what looks like a pair of sweatpants on the arm of the chair.Belatedly, I remember I’m still in my dinner clothes.
Did he set those out for me too?
I find the energy to reach out and unfold them.
Lord, theyarethe sweatpants he bought for himself.
I could just kiss him.
I’m so tired I barely feel surprised by that thought, though it does bring a little spark to my lips.
For a dragging stretch of time, I go back and forth between considering putting the pants on and just going back to sleep in this chair, with which I am in love.
Then I also notice I have to pee, so…if I’m going to the bathroom anyway….
I take the pants with me.After I’ve drowsily taken care of business, I strip off my tights and skirt and pull the pants on.Right away, I want to live in them forever even though they don’t hug my hips very well—if they were one size bigger, they’d be too loose to wear.For unplanned pajama purposes, though?I’m about to be stupidly comfy in them.
My reflection certainly looks stupidly comfy in them.Like a charming girlfriend.
It’s a really nice thought.
It follows me back to the living room, where I see Luke hasn’t stirred one bit.He’s still stretched out on the couch, all sweet yet masculine in his lowered-guard state.
Wish there was room for me to lie next to him.
My fuzzy brain tries to imagine it; paired with memories of being bundled up in his coat with him, the idea sounds better than good.Sounds amazing.
Sounds irresistible.
‘Get close to me anytime.’Isn’t that what he said?
I know it is, so I don’t think he’ll mind if he wakes up later and finds me snuggled with him.Ican’t find it in me to mind how much I want it.So I pile my stuff on my purse on the floor and, instead of returning to the big chair, go to where he is.I move his blanket so I can get under it, too, and occupy the bit of empty space there.
He does move around in his sleep now.I take advantage of it, wiggling and shifting, wordlessly coaxing him to scoot against the cushions so I won’t fall off the edge.Momentarily, the back of me is spooned along the front of him; we seem to be pretty comfortable for one of us not being awake and this couch beingjustbig enough for both of us.
And I hadn’t thought about this making me feel safe after my bad dream, but I realize it’s doing exactly that.Lingering bits of unease go away from me.In my dream, I felt sharply that Kyle was trying to get me alone somewhere, but here and now, all I feel is Luke.
The only way this could be better is if he would drape his arm around me.But I’m so ready to go back to sleep, I can’t even consider trying to make that happen.
So I let my eyes close, let my body relax into his warmth, and let the calm darkness slip over me again.
—
The next time I come to, the sun is starting to rise and I’m not merely warm—I’m caged in by the most welcome heat.
Luke and I are still lying the way we were when I finagled my way onto the couch, but now he does have his arm curled around me.He’s penning me to himself in his sleep, curved snugly against me.His heart beats a steady rhythm against my back.His breaths stir my hair lightly, lightly.
And…I don’t want to ever move.
Think this is the best way I’ve ever woken up.
I never felt this relaxed or secure next to Marcus.Not even after sex, when one’s body is supposed to be satisfied and happy.
Acknowledging that causes a whole new kind of heat to wrap around me—not because of the memory of my ex’s body with mine, but because of the fleeting thought ofLuke’swith mine, which collides with the current reality of him.Andthatcollides with recent memories of us, like when we were in the fitting room area and when we’ve held hands and when he kissed my jaw last night.
