Page 117 of Falling Backwards
I have a hard time buying that.
After a few moments of me staring some more, he rolls his eyes.“Okay, if you must know.I got home after work and tried to think of what I wanted to do until it was time to come pick you up, and I decided on TV, right?”
I nod.“When we were texting.”
“Right.Well, then you went back to work and I couldn’t get into any shows—I tried three different ones—because all I could think about was….”He gestures at me, then lets his hand rest on his thigh.
I put my hand in his pocket earlier,I recall for the hundredth time.My heart skips a beat.
It skips another as I replay his trailed-off words.All he could think about while we were apart was me.
“So,” he says, “I realized there were a few things I’ve been meaning to do and that I could do them on my phone while I sat here.Didn’t have to be at home.I got some food and came over and had no trouble whiling away the time and also keeping a lookout.”
I can’t help it: all of this melts me a little bit.
More than a little bit, really.
“Why didn’t you tell me you were here?”I ask.“Why didn’t you come into the restaurant or something?”
He chortles wryly.“Wasn’t interested in you trying to talk me out of my decision.”
NowIrollmyeyes.
“You know you would’ve tried to,” he says.
“Of course I would have.”
“There you go.I shot Ronald a text, though, so at least he would be aware.”
As his eyes go over my face, they start to soften.Bit by bit, his amusement fades.
“But look, I’m—I’m sorry.It sounds like Ishould’vetold you too.Since you’re not really alone when you’re here, it didn’t occur to me that you’d be afraid without me.I thought you’d do what you always do and focus on work.Thought it was enough thatIknew I was here.”
I twiddle my thumbs and admit, “I didn’t think I’d be afraid either.”
“Truly, I’m sorry.”
Sincerity looks damn good on him.
Not so deep down, I ache over how familiarandunfamiliar I am with sweet, honest Luke.I wish he could stick around forever.He’s so much better than the Luke that hurts my heart.
After a slow blink and a breath to match, I focus on how appreciative I am for now.“No, it’s okay I didn’t know.Your thoughts make sense.Thank you for being here.”
“Yeah.You’re welcome.”
He contemplates me, then shifts closer, putting his elbow on the compartment between us.Tingles stir all throughout me at this new proximity.
Then I notice his brow has furrowed.
“Why didn’tyoutellme?” he asks.
“Tell you what?”I ask back.
“That you felt so nervous.Why didn’t you text me or call me?”
I give him a look.“We’re not supposed to have our phones on us outside of break times, so mine was in my locker.”
He gives the look back to me.“An exception can be made for situations like this.Remember what you said the other day about only keeping one’s phone in emergency times?At the very least, you could’ve taken two minutes to go to the breakroom and call me.”
