Page 70 of Falling Backwards
Funny, Paxton said something similar earlier:‘This won’t be hard to pull off if y’all can agree to temporarily put your bullshit on the back burner for a greater purpose.’
“She was right,” I reply.“We’ve proved that, I think.”
“Yeah….”
Taking a deep breath, she finally pulls her eyes from mine.While they rove the apartment, she tucks her hair behind her ears, and I try not to stare too much at how soft it looks hanging long and loose over her shoulders and the front of that shirt.
It’s not an incredibly revealing shirt, but the collar does dip lower than anything I’ve seen her wear.For it being such a simple piece of clothing, she sure is owning the hell out of it.And I gotta be honest, I’m a big fan of the shape of her in leggings, because—
“Are you sure you wanna pretend to date me when I don’t look as good as I used to?”
My gaze snaps back up to her face.Shit, she caught me.
But I see the color in her cheeks and that she’s actually still not meeting my eyes, so I replay her diffident question, then raise an eyebrow at her.“Who said you don’t look as good as you used to?”
She studies the front of my hoodie like it’s the most interesting thing she’s ever seen.
“Well, you know…” her tone tries and fails to be nonchalant, “…we both saw my ex and his new girl the other day.”
“Yeah.Did one of them say you look bad?”
A released breath becomes light, dry laughter.Her eyes find mine for a split second and then she’s looking away again.“No, but it’s obvious I do—it’s a fact.There she was, all slim and graceful, poured into that dress with not one inch of her out of place.She was perfection.”
“No, she wasn’t,” I disagree.“If you ask me, she was a seven out of ten.”
Now Maggie looks right at me and laughs in full incredulity.“Aseven?My God, does a ten exist if someone like her is only above average to you?In any case, I saw how you stared at her and then how you looked at me, so my point is made.I’ve put on some weight and gotten soft, and it’s plain to see.”
…Is she for real?
Does she honestly think she’s got nothing on that girl?She thinksIthink she’s got nothing on her?
That day, I’d wondered if some of her snappiness towards me involved the new girl being flaunted, but I didn’t expect it to mess with her this much.
I open my mouth to keep digging—and possibly inform her of the entire truth—when she holds up both hands to stop me.She seems to be trying to compose herself.
“We don’t have to talk about that,” she says.“Forget I brought her up.I only got on that topic because…uh….”
She hesitates.
When she doesn’t go on, I prompt lightly, “Because?”
Her blush is furious.“I was thinking about your idea and how I actually don’t—I—well, I don’t hate it.Your explanation makes it sound better than it should for people like us.But if our goal is to make Kyle believe he doesn’t have a chance with me, that means we have to sell that we’re together, which means we…we have to show some kind of attraction to each other.And I don’t wanna force you to act like I’m….”
Compassion and sadness paint the look she gives me.
“Luke, I-I don’t wanna ask too much of you.You’re already offering so much more than anyone else would after how I acted when we were younger.As if last night wasn’t a big enough favor.”
The self-awareness there puts a skip in my pulse.
It’s not what I was expecting—the part about high school, I mean.My brain may be all over the place right now, but I still know this is the first time older Maggie has mentioned her retaliation for my fuck-up.
There’s no discerning whether or not she stands behind it the way younger Maggie did, though.It’s not like those few words were an apology.
“Whyareyou offering me this?”she whispers.“Why are you offering something that’s so ridiculous for us?”
Valid questions.
Those resentful parts of me have asked them plenty of times.
