Page 198 of Falling Backwards
By the time my mom is back in the dining room, I’m wiping down the table while Maggie works in the kitchen, rinsing dishes and putting them in the dishwasher.There was a moment of difficulty in deciding to let her do that since we still don’t agree on how things should be arranged in a dishwasher, but she shooed me away and I let her.All that really matters is that my mom doesn’t have to do anything herself.
“Aw, honey!Thank you!”She seems to catch the sounds of Maggie in the kitchen and she gives a small gasp, then asks me more quietly, “Is Maggie doing dishes?”
“Yep!”
She comes over and hugs me around the shoulders.I stop what I’m doing and return the squeeze.“I love you.And I kind of think I already love her.”
We share a surreptitious laugh before I whisper, “I love you, too, and that girl already has a chokehold onmyheart, so I get how you feel.”
“Mmm.I can tell.”She steps away from me and gives me a long, absorbing look.“The happiness between you is so clear.”
I knew she could see it, but it still does something good to me to hear her talk about it.
She adds, “I can’t wait to get to know her even more.She’s so great.And on that note, I can’t believe you never talked much about her before a few days ago.”Smiling, she gives my arm a light smack.“You were over there falling for this girl from work and I had no idea!How could you not have dropped me any hints?”
It’s overwhelming how fast a single truth rushes into my throat, fighting to be spoken over any other response to what she’s said: the truth that I don’t only know Maggie from work.
My mom still doesn’t have a clue about what happened with us in high school.She doesn’t know Maggie brought happiness to my life before now.She doesn’t know how I ruined it the first time.She doesn’t know that Maggie….
Should I finally tell her about all of it?
But as soon as I wonder that, I realize the answer is no.No, of course I shouldn’t.Why did that even pop into my head?If there will ever be a time for that, which I doubt because the past is supposed to be behind me, this is not it.
“You okay, honey?”she asks, and I notice she’s frowning now.“I’m sorry.I didn’t mean to pry or—”
“No, don’t be sorry, Mom,” I stop her, patting her shoulders.“I’m okay.I just got lost in my head for a second.You didn’t offend me.”I take a deep breath, then tip her a smile as I decide on an answer that’s truthful in its way.“I guess I didn’t say anything sooner because…honestly, we didn’t always get along.Wereallydidn’t get along.Then a guy was bothering her and I helped her with that, and somehow it changed our dynamic, and before we realized it, we were feeling good things for each other.We knew we wanted to be together, so now we are.”
My mom’s smile and understanding expression are back, along with pride.“Ah.That makes sense.Seems like you would’ve told me someone was annoying you that badly, but….”She shrugs in a way that tells me she’s not going to dwell on it.“We’re close, but I know you don’t tell meeverything,and I know I don’t tell you everything either!”
I chuckle with her.“Oh, for sure.”
Her eyes seem to shine.“I’m just happy you’re happy.I’m happy that happiness swept in and swept you off your feet.I’m happy you were there for her and that you didn’t refuse a change of heart so your heart could have something good.”She gives me a smile and laughs softly behind it.“And how special that things were ready and waiting to be different.Just neededthe two of youto be ready for them to be different.”
God, what an incredible bunch of thoughts.
And God, I have the best mom ever.
She’s right about me and Maggie.I hadn’t thought of the timing like that, but it makes so much sense hearing her say it.More than she even realizes.
I hug her for real this time and she gives me the biggest squeeze she can, which both amuses me and makes me feel like I’m once again her little boy.
“You rock, Mom,” I tell her.“Thank you for rocking and for everything.”
“You’re welcome!I thinkyourock!And thank you for always coming to see me on Thanksgiving.”
“Psh.There’s nowhere else I’d rather be.”
After we step out of this hug, she says, “Okay, I’m gonna go see if Maggie needs my help with anything.”
I hold up an,‘Are you serious?’hand, but she doesn’t see it because she’s walking away, so I voice it.“Are you serious?Go sit down somewhere!You never have to bother with cleaning on Thanksgiving and you’re not starting today!”
She cackles as she leaves the room.
Maggie is making less noise now and seems to have heard me.“Uh oh, Luke,” she calls, “is she trying to come mess around in the kitchen?”
“Yes!”I call back, realizing I’ve started grinning.“Keep her from it at all costs!”
I hear her say, “Mrs.Bramhill, put the roasting pan down,” and her tone nears the bossy tone she’s taken with me before, which cracks methe hellup.
