Page 184 of Falling Backwards
Indeed, it turns out not to.When Luke pulls into a parking space in front of the building so I can get out, the clock on his dashboard says my shift starts in one minute, and I’m okay with it both in my mind and out loud when he apologizes.
“It’s fine,” I assure him.
That has him making a,‘Wow, okay,’kind of look, which I understand yet find adorable.
“You’re going to the store now?”I ask.
He blinks away his surprise and nods.“Yep.I’ll get those last-minute things we need for my mom’s house.”
“Can you get us some gummy worms while you’re at it?”
I love the smile he breaks out into, and I love the laugh that follows it.
“My God, I….”He bites back the rest of the sentence, but his eyes stay bright.“Yes, I will.”Then he makes a swift move across the center console and kisses me.
It’s hard to only give myself a moment to kiss him back, but I manage.After, I look at him for one more bright second of my own, then smile, too, and hurry out of the car.
The world still doesn’t end when I get clocked in directly after my shift was supposed to start—a couple of people are in the breakroom, but none of them care what I’m doing.Even the hostess I’m replacing doesn’t mind that I don’t get to the stand precisely on time.She just smiles and trades wishes for a great Thanksgiving with me before she leaves.
Everything is fine.
Who’d have thunk it, right?
I recall the day Luke and I decided to be a fake couple.He mentioned teaching me that rules don’t have to be rigidly followed all the time.Although I’m sure it made me roll my eyes back then, now it makes me chuckle.
I’m still not okay with things like having my phone on me while I’m on the clock, but if I were and I had it now, I’d text him to share my amusement.
All that said, my mood does cool as I get started with my shift.Even with Luke so big in my mind, I don’t forget about Kyle.I replay the days he showed up here, and then I’m taken by a cascade of other memories that spill discomfort through me.I can’t help feeling freshly worried and afraid.
But at the park….
I’m eased by remembering how Luke stood up for me and in front of me, how he laid it all out for Kyle…and how Kyle’s attitude changed within seconds.
Maybe it’s all over.Maybe he finally got the message.
I don’t know how many times I’ve hoped these things over the last couple of days.
All I know is that unlike every other time I wished Kyle would go away, this time it looks like he really might.We weren’t supposed to confront him, so I feel stupid about that, but when Luke did it, it seemed to snap Kyle out of whatever he was thinking.
But if it didn’t—if Kyle’s words of apology and truce at the park meant nothing and he keeps bothering me—I’ll find a way to deal with it.I won’t be alone in it.I’ll have my family, my friends…and my not-fake boyfriend.
I actually do kind of wish I had my phone on me right now.I think Luke would like to hear that I’m finally feeling kind of positive about all this.
Between that truth and the knowledge that I’ll get to tell him in person soon enough, my mood warms right back up.
L U K E
What a day.
Annoying in some ways since town is so busy—cars crowd the roads, people crowd the stores.I spent longer standing in line to pay for my groceries than I did shopping for them, which wasn’t exactly quick either.And I’ve gotten two more calls from Jayden, both of which went unanswered; they were followed up by texts that let me know he’s not in a state of emergency, though I also haven’t answered those.Something is still holding me back from wanting to talk to him and I’m not really interested in thinking much about it.
Because in most ways, this day is great,notannoying.
The time I’m going to get to spend with Maggie over the coming days…I don’t want anything to ruin it.We’re both excited about it, and that excitement deserves to remain intact.
So fuck everything else.
I smile triumphantly as I start a load of laundry—both because of my mindset and because I remembered what the thing I forgot I wanted to do was.And I did it.And now I have another pair of sweatpants just like the first pair I bought.I can wear one and Maggie can wear the other.
