Page 18 of Falling Backwards
Okay, then, I guess.
Though my stomach is decidedly sinking now, I notice my hands have already picked up my iPad-slash-seating-chart.“A table for two?Absolutely.Would you prefer the bar area or the dining room?”
At their choice of the latter, I consult theDRchart more carefully than I need to for how early it is in Lucent’s day.And to attempt to be as unruffled as Marcus, I reach for a memory of something about him that I didn’t care for: how he never quite managed to bring me the food I requested on my breaks and would never apologize for it.He was a fan of simply saying,‘Does it really matter that much?Just eat around what you don’t like.’As if finely diced onion could be pretended away from a hamburger, or as if a sandwich could be unruined by globs of mayonnaise when I asked for no mayonnaise at all.
Indeed, recalling how disappointing that always was helps me feel calmer as I show him and his brunch date to a table in the middle of the inviting, sunlit dining room.
“Here we are,” I say.“Your server today will be—”
The clap-like grasp of Marcus’s hand against his date’s ass isn’t exactly obscene, but it’s still so far from subtle that it surprises me into silence.
For one, it’s a bold thing to do in a restaurant like Lucent.For two, is he showing out or does he just find herthatmuch more attractive than he found me?Because he never aimed that kind of affection at me.
The girl is admonishing him through giggles, and he inhales them while he pulls her chair out for her.Which is something else he never did with me.
I notice my pulse has gone up a tick—and it goes up another when he glances right at me, knowing full well that I’m witnessing all of this.
Ouch again.
‘I do care for you,’I remember him saying on our last night as a couple.‘Just not enough to really make this work.’
Since the breakup was his idea, I don’t know why it feels like he’s rubbing his new relationship in my face, but here we are.
At last, I finish as politely as I can, “Cristiano will be with you momentarily.I hope you’ll enjoy your meal.”
The girl thanks me brightly.Marcus says nothing.As I start walking away, I work on my breathing and try to remember that, in truth, I wasn’t wildly in love with him either.
Still, we were together for eight months.Things seemed fine.I didn’t think we were a bad—
Wait, what?
My flash of confusion briefly stops my feet from moving, but it doesn’t stop a familiar flip-flop sensation from invading my stomach.
What fresh hell is this?
Across the way, Luke is near where I know the hostess stand is around the corner.He’s absently rubbing his hands together and not even trying to hide that he’s been watching me, Marcus, and the new girl.
What is he doing away from the bar?
I’m sure my raised eyebrows ask that as I approach him, but I still voice it once I’m close enough to speak discreetly.“Why are you over here?”
He’s been going back and forth between looking at me and looking over my shoulder, and he doesn’t stop now.
“Isn’t that your boyfriend?”he asks, ignoring my question.“Who’s he with?”The slowing of his blue gaze tells me the girl is the firm object of his attention.
Is he seriously checking out my replacement right in front of me?
I don’t suppose I should be surprised.Still, it does my rising heart rate no favors.
Without answering him either, I go around his tall, sturdy form and finish walking to my stand.Large though the dark wood thing is, it’s out of sight of the dining room, which I’m glad about.
His voice follows me.“Did you guys break up recently or did you catch him cheating just now?”After a moment: “I guess I don’t know why he’d bring his other woman to your place of work if he were cheating, but in any case, you don’t look happy to see him.”
I huff out a breath.Now that I’m back in my usual spot, I roll my eyes his way and notice how casual his pace towards me is.It’s like he’s at Merritt’s or something, not at work.
I inform him, “It’s none of your business.But it ismybusiness what you’re doing standing around over here instead of tending bar.”
He shuffles to a stop behind the stand too…and starts scrolling his eyes overme.They seem to take in the shape of me as they go down to the black flats on my feet, then up to my face, my hair.
