Page 130 of Falling Backwards
“Natural disaster relief and veterans.”
“Anything that helps children.”
“Hell yes.And even more things than these, probably, though I can’t think of them right this second.”
“Yeah!”
As I experience it in chest and stomach more strongly than I think I ever have, I frown deeply and say, “God, it’s literally gut-wrenching.Not being able to support people as much as I want to, I mean.”
Maggie’s outward expressions of agreement calm back down.She frowns, too, but not for long.The look she gives me is resolute.
“Well,” she says, “I don’t know how much you support people in need now, but I knowIdon’t do it enough, and that bothers me too.So let’s change it somehow.Even if we have to take baby steps.”
My eyes drift away from her so I can watch where we’re walking again, but her sweetly firm expression stays at the front of my mind.
It makesmefeel resolute.
Excited.
Inspired.
“That’s agreatidea,” I say.“We don’t have to be rich to help anybody.”
“Right?”Her smile is audible.
“Plenty of people who help others aren’t rich.Even if we can only do a little bit or only do it sometimes, that’s something.”
“Exactly!We can, like, choose an organization once a month or once every couple months—whatever we can afford, and—”
I snap my fingers.“And it’ll probably be even easier to afford than we think if we cut out stuff like going to Merritt’s so often—”
“Yeah, I mean, you’re an amazing bartender and we’re starting our own cooking adventures, so we can just learn to make the stuff we like.”
I laugh at her compliment and nod at her point.“Yep, homemade mojitos and pretzel bites, here we come!”
She chuckles.“Teach a man to fish and he can feed himself for life, right?”
“Absolutely.”I tsk.“Look at us being geniuses.”
“Yeah, we’re good together, aren’t we?”
Her flowing reply is happy, but it hits me hard.
Hits her hard, too, judging by the audible stutter in her breathing and the way her hand twitches in mine.
The past tries to come back up in my mind.My mistakes.Hers.
But I fight that.I don’t let that stuff pull me away from her.I don’t let it taint the various golden things she’s been doing to me.
I don’t want to.
What I want is to agree with her, so I do.“We are.”
She doesn’t pull back in action or emotion either.
Even after another minute of silence having settled between us, her mood seems calm and her hand stays woven through mine.
I like that.
