Page 105 of Falling Backwards
I remark, “I love cold weather.”
Joy nods.“So do I, but I don’t dare to hope we’re done with warm temperatures just yet.The weather around here has a hard time abiding by seasons.”
Emma loves warm weather, though, so she looks out the window and wrinkles her nose.
“It’ll be holiday time soon,” Joy adds.“What are y’all doing for Thanksgiving?My moms called first thing this morning and started making plans.I’m gonna visit them for a few days the week of.Gotta be at work on Friday afternoon, though.”
“I don’t know what I’m doing yet,” Emma says.“Kinda wanna go see my mom and sister.Kinda wanna live on the couch at home.”
I agree, “The couch sounds good.The couch and some easy Thanksgiving food.”
“You’ve read my mind, sister.”
I add, “I work the day before the holiday and the day after, but my parents are going on a wedding anniversary cruise anyway, so none of us planned on taking a trip to see each other.”
Joy presses a hand to her heart, her expression sweet.“I love that!”
“Yeah!I’m glad they’ve been having such a good time in general.They adore California.”
Now her hand, shoulders, and expression drop into unhappiness.“I wanna live close to Disneyland too!”
Emma chuckles sympathetically while I try to reassure Joy, “Well, they don’t really live close to it.They live a couple hundred miles away.”
“Girl, that’s so much closer to it than we are, it’s practically down the street from them!”
Serious though she is, she joins my and Emma’s hearty laughter.
We kill more time at our table in this way: talking and laughing about our usual random mixture of things.
After a while, Joy and I want to know if anything is going on with Emma and Paxton.As casually as ever, she shrugs and says they plan to get together tonight or tomorrow.They’d like to get drinks at Merritt’s, apparently.
“But,” she says more quietly, “that also sounds like a fun plan for you girls and Luke to join in on, except Paxton and I know Maggie might not feel like going over there in light of the Kyle thing.”
The thought of seeing him there again, pouring dread over my fun times with my friends, makes my stomach twist up.Makes me want to curl in on myself.
Until I think of Luke.
He would be with me.He would steady me and protect me.
Memories of yesterday come back into my mind, putting a feeling in my stomach that isn’t at all like the one from seconds ago.
“Maybe,” I tell Emma.After a pause: “I know Luke and I aren’t very far into this thing, but I’ve already been feeling like having him with me makes everything better.”
The way that sounds makes my heartbeat stutter, makes me feel suddenly flushed.
I shake my head.“I mean, he makes everything‘better’as in—as in he makes everything feel safer.He makesmefeel better because I feel safer.He makes the world feel less scary.”
Emma nods, looking mildly amused.“Yeah, totally.”
“Totally,” Joy echoes.I glance at her and see her hazel eyes are gentle.“I’m glad he does that for you, my love.”
Emma tsks.“Luke Bramhill, knight in shining armor.Who’d have thunk it?”
We all chortle together, but my heartbeat still doesn’t know how to act.
My friend is right, but she also isn’t.
Luke may be lending me his armor for a while, but it’s not shiny and he’s not really a knight.He’s the boy who broke my heart—charitable though he’s being right now, that’ll always be true.
