Page 94 of Ugly Truths
“You’re capable of handling just as much as the rest of us.”
“What is that supposed to mean?” Her voice is all broken edges.
“That you’re incredibly strong,” I start, loosening the gloves. “But we all have limits.”
She wants to unleash her frustration, to fight it out, but I’m not going to be the one to give it to her—she’s too important for that.
I soften my stance, shaking off the gloves onto the floor before letting a slow breath. “Nat, I love you in a way I never thought I could again after losing Drew.”
She blinks in surprise, but I press on. “I never want you or Silas to experience that type of pain with someone you care about. I wouldn’t wish it on anyone.” My voice thickens. “I had to say something before it was too late.”
She shakes her head. “It’s not the same. You had nothing to do with her—”
“But didn’t I?” I cut her off, my head tilting to the side. “I’m the reason she is gone. It’s something I have to live with for the rest of my life, even if I wasn't the one holding the knife.”
Jeff sucks in a breath behind me, but my gaze remains on my friend.
“I don’t want this for you,” I say.
Natalie’s shoulders slump just a fraction. “That’s not your decision to make.”
I nod. “You’re right. You can do whatever you want, but that won’t stop me from telling you what scares me. I don’t disagree with the consequences,” I continue, glancing briefly at Jeff. “But the way we get there matters. This will change who you are.”
Natalie blinks rapidly, her defenses waning as tears threaten to spill. “It has already changed me,” she admits, her voice cracking slightly.
I nod again. “I know, and I’m sorry,” I pause. “Davey seems worried about this, too. Have you asked him how he feels?”
Natalie’s expression shifts, shoulders falling more as she turns away to hide her face from the shame. She doesn’t have to respond for me to know the answer.
I close the distance between us before carefully wrapping my arms around her. She tenses as I whisper close to her ear, “No one thinks you’re weak.”
Her breath hitches, body trembling slightly against mine. “You don’t have to agree with me. That’sfine. But I’d rather be wrong and you hate me for a while than lose another friend.”
Natalie stifles her tears, her arms hesitantly coming around to hug me back. She doesn’t speak, but her grip tightens until I have all of her weight pressed into me. My chest seizes, wishing more than anything that I could take these heavy, immeasurable decisions away from her.
“I don’t hate you,” she breathes, squeezing me tighter.
Despite everything, I chuckle. “I’m glad.”
Only when she takes back some of her weight do I start to pull back, her eyes red-rimmed and cheeks splotchy. My lips turn up in a small, reassuring smile, and, through unshed tears, she returns it.
Jeff clears his throat.
“Is the therapy session over? Can we get back to work now?” His tone is teasing, though when I turn back to him, there’s only warmth behind his gaze.
We laugh, the sound echoing off the mirrored walls. I nod at Jeff, a small, grateful smile playing on my lips, then glance towards Natalie with a playful glint in my eye. “Why don’t you take out some of that frustration out on Jeff?”
A wry twist appears on her lips as she retorts, “Oh, I plan to.”
Jeff grins, bouncing lightly on the balls of his feet as he ditches the strike pads from his hands and tosses them onto the cement floor. “Let’s see what you’ve got, champ,” he taunts, inviting her to step onto the mat.
And she does.
Chapter 38
Silas
The Hawthorne Club is always quieter than I remember. My father brought me here for the first time when I was twenty-four years old. On the car ride to the members-only restaurant, he told me that it was time I saw what progress looked like behind closed doors.
