Page 30 of Ugly Truths
The past two months, we’ve assumed that Elena’s “attack” was staged. But if she’s telling the truth, Peter might still be watching Natalie. Waiting.
Elena keeps going. “After that and all that you did for me, I realized I needed to find whatever was on those servers to have leverage against him. I wasn’t convinced he would leave you alone with how angry he was at me.”
Before I can even look at him, Davey is on his phone, shooting off what I assume is a message to Cillian and the rest of the team.
“I didn’t think anyone would believe me if I told the truth.” Elena almost shrugs in defeat. “I understand why, but I had to dosomething. That’s when Luis started to help me.”
My teeth grind so hard, I’m surprised a molar doesn’t crack.
She looks up at Natalie, guilt weighing on every inch of her expression. “And then, I was trying to find any excuse to stay longer. I lied to myself more than once about it, but that dinner with your father is when I knew it was time to go. Before I caused more damage than I already had.”
I inhale sharply.
Elena turns toward the sound. Her brown eyes glisten, full lips trembling as the tip of her nose reddens the way it does when she’s upset. Despite everything, the instinct to reach for her still crawls its way to the surface.
I beat it down.
It doesn’t matter if my ribcage feels like it’s caving inward, crushing my lungs, my esophagus, my heart.
It doesn’t matter.
“Leaving was the hardest decision I’ve ever made.” She speaks with such conviction and longing that it almost pulls me under. Then, as if she can’t stand the reminder of what happened, she drops her gaze to break the spell. “But I knew that in order to keep Natalie safe, I had to.”
The tears she just barely held back while looking at me finally fall, darkening the fabric of her sweatshirt, one by one.
“All I wanted was to disappear so you could all move on with your lives. After everything I’ve done…” Her voice cracks. “I deserve everything that happened to me. How I felt after and still feel. And you all deserve to be free of me.”
Free of her.
Like I haven't been trapped in this purgatory for two months—chasing shadows, unable to last ten fucking minutes without a thought that contradicted the last. Missing her. Loathing her. Clinging to the memories I also wanted to let die. Wishing we’d never met. Mourning her. Wanting to burn her at the fucking stake.
And now she’s here, talking about choices and handlers and reasons that don’t change the facts. She chose to betray us and leave.
Something sharp lodges itself in my chest and twists. It leaks under my skin, and the pressure builds with it. Tightening up through my shoulders and down my spine. I stare at the woman who caused it, trying to keep my breathing steady, but it’s slipping.
Her tears don’t help. And the ones Natalie starts to shed don’t either.
All I can see is her face that night, crumpling when I pleaded for her to stay. Her voice, trembling as she promised me she wouldn’t leave, eventhough Iknewshe was lying. I just thought I had more time to convince her and fix it.
Begging her wasn’t enough. Confessing my stupid fucking love to her never even stood a chance. She was always going to do this. No matter what I said or did or offered, it was never going to change a damn thing.
My chair scrapes loudly against the floor as I stand, cutting off whatever Natalie was about to say. Elena’s wide, tear-streaked eyes snap to mine. For a split second, she looks exactly like she did that night—lost, fragile, breaking.
It’s almost enough to make me stop.
My feet carry me towards the door and I shove it open, rushing into the hallway. The sound of it slamming shut behind me barely registers over theroar in my ears.
Chapter 14
Davey
Whatever restraint Silas was clinging to snapped long before he actually stormed out the holding room. This bomb has been waiting to detonate. I just don’t know if this is the peak or the lead-up to something worse.
Unsurprisingly, Silas has always been the one to hold his cards close to his chest. When I was getting to know him at work, I couldn’t tell if he hated or respected the people around us, or even me. He takes his time assessing everyone around him. It’s what makes him great at his job, but impossible to read. The closest I’ve seen him to losing control of his emotions have all involved Natalie.
The first time I saw what Silas was capable of was about a year into my relationship with her. An older man had been stalking her. He’d show up near her apartment and follow her after events. He even left semen-covered underwear at her door once. The police were dragging their feet, which floored me given who she is, and Natalie didn’t want to “bother” Silas with it. But I was fed up, so I told him, hoping at the very least he had some connections at her local precinct to actuallydosomething about it.
I’ll never forget the way he stilled. The energy emanating from him was a complete juxtaposition to his quiet response. The silent rage matched what I felt in my own chest, beat for beat. We didn’t have toask each other any questions. There wasn’t a single doubt about what needed to happen.
