Page 18 of Taste of Forever
Breadcrumbs,my resentment demon whispered in my ear.He’s doing the absolute bare minimum. Tossing you breadcrumbs. And look at you, eating them up so gratefully.
The resentment wasn’t as strong over the past few days, so it was easier to ignore that voice. I was happier with the effort Justin was putting in. Besides, it wasn’t fair to expect perfection.
Lots of guys weren’t romantic. Plenty of men didn’t want to get vulnerable and talk about their feelings. That didn’t mean they were bad partners. They did their best, and I knew Justin was trying. I had to remember to appreciate the small things.
It took two to tango, as the saying went. I had to open myself up to him too. Months of arguments, rejections, and ruts had closed me off emotionally. If we were going to reach a betterplace in our relationship, I had to take accountability for my part.
A good girlfriend didn’t receive almost-orgasms from other people, period. A good girlfriend didn’t lie about wounds on her wrist. A good girlfriend would put a gag on that annoying little demon and address issues before they became resentment.
My obsession with that vampire and that world was a symptom of trying to run away from my relationship issues. Why was it so important to prove it was real, anyway? Because I needed something real and concrete to hold onto when it felt like Justin was slipping away?
Maybe some things were better off as mysteries. Blips and anomalies happened during scientific observations all the time. I was too curious for my own good, and maybe the two worlds were never meant to overlap. It would certainly be safer to leave well enough alone.
I closed my eyes to the sounds of Justin snoring softly next to me. My decision was made.
No more looking for escape from my own circumstances. No more searching for a vampire world.
It only tooka week for everything to fall apart.
I was putting on makeup in the bathroom, excited for our first real date in months. Justin and I planned to check out a new restaurant for dinner, maybe go for a walk by the water if the night wasn’t too chilly. Something simple and lowkey, but another chance for us to reconnect and find the spark we’d lost.
So when he called out, “I’ll see you later, babe!” from the living room, I was utterly confused.
“Wait. What?” I came out of the bathroom laughing, because this had to be a joke. “Where are you going?”
Justin was putting on his shoes by the front door and looked irritated by the question. “Poker tournament at Mike’s. The same one I go to every month.”
My mouth fell open. “Are you kidding me? That’s tonight?”
“Uh, yeah.”
“Did you forget that we also made plans for tonight?”
“That’s tomorrow, isn’t it?”
“No, Justin. We agreed on Saturday. You said you had nothing else going on.”
“Oh.” He had the nerve to wince. “I didn’t realize.”
“We talked about it on Tuesday. I literally had my calendar out on my phone and asked if you weresure.”
“Yeah. Sorry, babe. I just didn’t think.”
A long, tense silence passed. I crossed my arms, waiting. Surely he would do more than say a lameSorry, babe.Surely he would take this opportunity to make his priorities clear.
After a few more seconds of awkwardly staring at each other, he broke eye contact to tie his shoes.
“You’re still going?!” I cried out in disbelief.
Are you really surprised?my resentment demon whispered.
“I paid my buy-in already,” Justin argued. “I’ll lose money if I don’t go.”
“Not as much as you’ll lose when you show up to play.”
“Oh, come on.” He finished with his shoes and stood to full height. “I don’t always lose. You sure don’t complain when I come home with an extra three hundred bucks.”
“Oh yeah.Wow, three hundred whole dollary-doos.” I widened my eyes to lay on the sarcasm even thicker. “That’ll go a long way toward getting us out of this apartment and into a house. Oh wait. Actually it won’t because that money will go right up in smoke in the next poker tournament.”
