Page 212 of Intense
“They killed my friend. And so, I killed them,” I say harshly.
There is no sugarcoating what I did. Or how brutally I did it.
She nods. I’m waiting for that look of pity, but it’s not coming. So I keep talking. I’m only doing this once.
I take a deep breath.
“That is the day I realized I wanted to be a surgeon. I went there for dinner but heard her parents screaming at each other, so I looked in through her window, and that’s when I saw her fucking murder scene. She was just lying by their feet in a pool of blood while they argued about what to do with her body.” I say it with such anger my body shakes.
“Fuck,” Stephanie hisses.
“So, I snuck back in while they slept that night. I killed them in their sleep, and then I cut them up. I was fascinated, and I finally, after weeks of torture, felt alive again. Covered in blood. Organs all over the floor. I got my revenge. I ended it, but it was too late. I couldn’t save her. But I realized I wanted to cut people up, both for good and bad reasons.”
I close my eyes as they start to sting. It wasn’t good enough.Iwasn’t enough.
“You did what you could, Finn. I’m proud of ten-year-old you. But, and I’m only going to say this once, I’m so fucking sorry that happened to you, baby. No one deserves that.”
She presses her lips against my cheek, and we just stay there in silence. My heart is hammering, and my body is exhausted.
That dark place I try to shut out consumes me, and Stephanie is that light at the end of the tunnel, grounding me back with her rather than letting me rot with my abusers.
I keep my forehead pressed to hers, letting her steady my breathing until it matches hers. The restraints bite at my wrists, but I don’t move. For once, I’m not fighting the hold.
She knows now. All of it. And the world hasn’t ended.
I open my eyes and study her. There’s no calculation in my gaze now. No test. Just the knowledge that this woman has crawled into my darkest place and refused to leave.
My hands flex uselessly in the cuffs. I want them free. I want to hold her like I’m never letting her go.
“I’ve never told anyone that,” I say, my voice low. “Not my brothers. Not anyone. You’re it, Stephanie.”
Her eyes soften, but she doesn’t try to fill the space with words. She just nods, like she understands exactly what it costs me to say that.
I love her because she’s looking at me right now, knowing everything, and she’s still here.
I swallow the ache in my throat. “Take these off.”
She unbuckles the restraints, and the second my hands are free, I pull her to me. Not rough. Not a claim. Just an anchor. My arms lock around her, and for the first time, I let her feel all of it. The fear, the relief, the desperate need for her.
Her fingers slide into my hair, and I bury my face in her neck.
“Do you still want me now?” I murmur against her skin.
She nods against me. “Always. In fact, more than ever.”
And for the first time in my life, I believe it.
But there is still that nagging feeling in my chest that I’m dragging her into hell with me. My evil can’t be healed or tamed. All it’s going to do is take hold of her.
Yet, for the first time, my past doesn’t feel as heavy. And that is thanks to her. There is nothing stopping her from making a run for it once she really digests what I’ve told her.
I guess that’s a chance I have to take. Maybe my wife really means she isn’t going anywhere. That she isn’t scared of me.
Chapter 74
STEPHANIE
Isit in silence trying to comprehend the last few hours while Finn goes to fetch my bag. Even this moment is a test. The doors are open. I could attempt to run from him.
